NASCAR Star Burns After Disgusting Gesture At Texas

There’s no way we’re complaining about that automobile race too …. right? Right?! I know Talladega was a bust, but NASCAR needed a win (badly) this weekend at Texas and I think they got it. 

This woke Next Gen car stinks, but it’s made the 1.5-mile tracks better. I’ll give it that. It’s completely ruined the superspeedways and short tracks, but the ‘ol mile-n-halfs have put on a pretty good show over the past few years. 

We had comers and goers. We had wrecks out the ass. We had lead changes and passing and drama at the end. The grandstands were actually full. And hey! Joey Logano stopped bitching long enough to actually drive a race car and drive it well! 

What a difference a week makes. See what happens when you quit complaining for two seconds and actually do your job? Wild. 

What else should we touch on today – the first NASCAR Monday of May? Well, I’ve got Denny Hamlin burying the fine Texas fans with a disgusting gesture, and then immediately catching on fire. How does that sound? Good? Good!

I’ve also got Dale Earnhardt’s wicked widow causing trouble, Dale Jr.’s wife pissing herself (seriously), Bubba Wallace pissing all you God-fearin’ NASCAR fans off, and Danica Patrick doing the same to all the pansy F1 fans. 

But at least she wore a tiny little dress in the process! We’ll take it. You’ll see. 

Four tires, some of that Sunoco racin’ fuel (gas is cheap, you know!), and maybe a hefty dose of karma for Denny Hamlin … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘We Finally Got A Decent NASCAR Race For The First Time In Months’ edition – is LIVE!

Horns down, and so is Denny!

Might as well start with the fire, I reckon. It’s not often you see a car burst into flames for no apparent reason 30 laps into a race. 

Well, scratch that. We’ve seen it far more often over the past few years thanks to these cheap lemons NASCAR sold everyone, but it’s still wild to watch every single time. 

I mean … come on! How does this happen?

Not great! You don’t see mechanical failures like that too often, especially from someone in a JGR vehicle. It was Denny’s worst finish of the season (38th), and second week in a row outside the top-20. 

Obviously, none of that matters because he’s already won twice, but still … not how you want to start May. Although, as you can see above, perhaps Denny had it coming to him. 

After all, this was NASTY work:

Logano takes out Chipper, Bubba takes out everyone!

God, I love Denny. He’s the best. Thank God for him, honestly, because he’s one of about three drivers who show an ounce of personality in that garage. 

He doesn’t give a shit what you think or say, or who you are. Which reminds me, let’s check in on this Twitter exchange last week between Denny and NASCAR’s head communications guy, Mike Forde:

Whoooooooof. See? He doesn’t give a shit. Nobody is safe in this business. When you’re pushing 45 with no titles, the gloves are alllllll the way off. The give-a-damns are out the door. I’m just waiting for Denny to really go rogue and bring up Brian France next! 

Look it up for those who don’t know. 

Anyway, back to Texas …

Let’s check in on Bubba’s big day, because fans on Elon’s Twitter took it WELL:

I don’t know … what do y’all think? I’m not sure that I saw anything egregious beyond Bubba just getting … Texas’d. 

We saw a couple drivers hit the wall like that yesterday. It was late-ish in the race, everyone was aggressive, and Bubba slammed the wall. Took out a half-dozen drivers, which wasn’t ideal, but he wasn’t the only wreck yesterday. 

God, we had a lot, didn’t we? I can’t remember a Texas race with so many cautions. And big ones, too! Didn’t hate it. Joey made it through all of ‘em – including Bubba’s – to win for the first time in 2025, and also stuff Chipper Jones in a locker at the same time. 

Win-win!

What did you think of Bubba’s wreck (or anything else)? Zach.Dean@OutKick.com!

F1 fans love Danica, NASCAR fans love this national anthem DOG & the Earnhardt wives!

So, for those who skipped this class last week, Chipper weirdly called out Joey Logano for calling teammate Austin Cindric a little bitch (I’m paraphrasing, sort of) during last week’s race at ‘Dega. 

Chipper said it was a low blow. Most of the NASCAR world did. I certainly agreed, but that mainly just because I wanted to fit in. 

Anyway, Joey clapped back – as you can – by calling Larry irrelevant, and then promptly won yesterday’s automobile race. And thus concludes the weirdest, most random dick-measuring contest of 2025. 

And that’s a long list!

Moving on … 

… to everyone hating poor Danica Patrick down in Miami yesterday. Sad. Piss off, haters! We’re #TeamDanica around here. She’s hot. She’s a Big R Republican. And she’s hot!

Won’t stand for Danica slander around here. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. She just spent a year campaigning with and for Donald Trump. She mocks the Libs on a daily basis. She was the best thing on the screen yesterday, losers! 

Let’s see how that race went, by the way … 

Ah, nice! Nothing like a solid 37-second gap between first and third. Must have been riveting! Thank God they at least had Danica to look at. 

PS: tough scene with the umbrella. No way to defend that. Sorry, Danica. 

Couple quickies on the way out … and they both involve the Earnhardt fellas! First, we’ll start with the good: Amy Earnhardt. 

My God. This is why I thank my lucky stars every single day that I’m a guy. Seriously. Being a dude is the best. We only piss our pants when we’re tanked. But in situations like Amy’s? Never an issue for us. We’d just take a leak anywhere at that point. Literally – anywhere other than down our own leg. 

It’s tougher for girls, obviously, so I get it. They can’t just dig around for an empty Gatorade bottle in the backseat like we can. Again, women are great – they are far superior to us – but in this case? God, it’s good to be a guy. 

Now, from hot Amy Earnhardt to vindictive Teresa Earnhardt!

For those who missed it late last week, Teresa Earnhardt – known around these parts as the ‘Wicked Witch of NASCAR’ – is up to no good yet again. I swear, you can’t take your eye off this woman for one second. Not one!

Late last year, Dale’s widow made a plan to sell 400 acres of his Mooresville farm land, and turn it into an industrial park. That’s right. An industrial park! Those insufferable, disgusting-looking buildings that nobody ever, ever, goes into? Those!

Anyway, the proposal was shot down at the time, which was great news for patriots – and NASCAR fans – across the country. Done deal, right? We could all move on, finally. 

Wrong!

Last week, Teresa amazingly got the green light from the city to go ahead and destroy Dale’s farm. Don’t know how. Don’t know why. But it’s in motion, and it ain’t great. 

According to the Charlotte Observer, the Mooresville Planning Board voted 4-3 to recommend a rezoning of Teresa Earnhardt’s land for a planned Mooresville Technology Park, which would “play a key role in supporting the Southeast’s digital needs,” according to its website. 

Disgusting. Un-American. Insulting. This woman needs to be stopped:

See? Gross. 

Anyway, the final approval for this project is set for a vote in the next few weeks, so let’s hope the fine folks of Mooresville step up to the plate and save the day. 

Raise hell, Praise Dale!

Finally, let’s wash away that unpatriotic taste in our mouths with the most American national anthem you’ll ever see:

McCall in Cabo takes us home!

God Bless America. I love this country. I love Don Graves. Thank you for your service, brother!

OK, that’s it for today. Good talk. Good way to start May. Let’s have a big month. 

Take us to Kansas, McCall. And welcome back to class!