I assume it’s just the acidic mix of sweat and cheap hair gel streaming down my forehead that stings my eyes. But it’s teenage heartbreak playing out at center ice. My anger feels tangible. Rage knots in my throat as I wait in the postgame handshake line. Yet when I finally grip the hand of my hockey opponent, whose elbow popped my jaw, something shifts and my thirst for vengeance ebbs.

In his eyes, I can see a kid like me, with homework to get to.

Those memories of emotional strain, decades ago, stand in contrast to the curated, frictionless experiences that I worry define so much of boys’ lives today. In an era of AI, video games, cheap dopamine, solitude, porn, sports betting and fantasy sports, the frictions of youth sports feel more urgent. On the ice, field, or court, you can’t scroll away from an elbow or a benching; you can’t summon talent with a sharper ChatGPT prompt; you can’t order grit online; you can’t deny the limits of your genetics or preparation.

Striving to win, alongside other boys on a shared mission, remains a dopamine high hard to attain elsewhere. And even though losing a meaningful game, injuries, and toxic competitiveness all hurt, these experiences are processed and spread across a team instead of being stomached alone.

Beyond physical fitness, youth sports – regardless of the competition level – can be a pathway to identity formation, self-efficacy, bodily awareness, and tempering emotional highs and lows that boys need. Sports — with the mandate to move, then move on — should belong to all boys, rich or poor, highly athletic or not. However, youth sports participation has declined among boys over the last decade. Data suggests that while American boys are playing sports at lower rates, girls’ participation remains stable. The downward trend among boys is disheartening, especially as it’s more pronounced among low-income youth, according to a report from the American Institute for Boys and Men (AIBM). Only 25 percent of low-income boys participate in sports, while the overall participation rate for boys is 53 percent.

With boys and young men falling behind in educational achievement and measures of mental health, sports emerge as an valuable domain in which to practice rebounding from setbacks.

Why Are Boys Playing Fewer Sports?

AIBM’s report uses recent data to shed light on why low-income boys may be playing sports less, including:

• Increasing costs
• Academic ineligibility
• Scarcity of coaches
• Less casual play with an increase in sports specialization
• Early sports specialization leading to burnout, injuries, and fewer multisport athletes
• Screen time; 61% of teenage boys play video games daily
• Lingering impact of COVID program closures
• Increase in concussion concerns

Resilience, Learned Relationally

Participation in organized sports is linked to reduced anxiety and depression, and its effect seems to be greater in team sports. For less advantaged youth, research suggests that sports can provide social and emotional benefits.

Resilience is the ability to “weather and recover” from adversity. Organized team sports can be a level playing field where a kid’s effort is rewarded, unlike schools and broken social systems that may be stacked against them. For a fidgety boy on the brink of giving up, bouncing back may best be learned in action, embodied, alongside peers and coaches.

One study found that sports, when combined with supportive relationships, can help kids overcome the harmful effects of abuse, neglect, or growing up around addiction; another demonstrated that teens who play sports tend to have greater self-control, stronger social skills, and higher empathy than those who don’t, especially if they play multiple sports.

The Much-Needed Masculinity of Bouncing Back

An overlooked aspect of masculinity involves the guts to take your shot and then miss (whether it’s getting cut from a team or denied after asking a girl out); to take an “L” like a champ and say, “My bad.”

This is exactly what youth sports can teach at a time when many boys are falling behind. Sports offer an arena in which to calibrate dominance and sensitivity, when to fight or finesse. Today, a boy, shaped by the algorithms he’s fed, may not tune into male leaders who are relatable and emotionally grounded. In their place are wealthy guys or “manfluencers” who don’t own their missteps, accept results, or make concession speeches.

Not backing down, hinting at conspiracy, crying foul, and willful denial are confessions of insecurity made with bravado. But a real team doesn’t pretend you won when the scoreboard says otherwise. That lesson deepens when boys watch grown, professional athletes, after a long run in the playoffs, line up to shake hands, battered but still embracing their opponents. From this, they absorb a masculinity rooted in resilience, accountability, and grace. A boy recognizes: I, too, can strive hard and accept loss.

From the Field to Real Life

Does sports participation lead to resilience, or are resilient kids more likely to participate in sports? Data indicates it runs both ways. Some studies find that resilience gained in playing sports can transfer to resilience in other parts of life, but only with deliberate reflection and meaning-making. Research suggests resilience is a dynamic process rather than a static trait, meaning that it evolves and changes over time, depending on the situation.

Perhaps boys can better learn to bounce back with the help of male teachers and/or coaches who place losing and winning in context, and who model emotional intelligence with skillful communication (rather than barking orders). Communities could invest more in free weekend leagues staffed by volunteer coaches to help organize athletic competition without financial barriers.

The current trend of specialization in youth sports is worrying. It’s important to reduce youth sports costs through lower fees and to expand casual, non-competitive play options as well. Just as income ought not impact access to sports, neither should athleticism.

Let’s create opportunities for boys to fall and get back up, not just on playing fields but relational ones, where humility and community can take root.

The Aldrich basketball courts in Laurel were full of quick passes, pivots and picks-and-rolls in the inaugural Community Kids Basketball Tournament Saturday. In a collab between the Aldrich Sports League of Mattituck and NoFo Kid Connect of Greenport, four teams chock full of local basketball talent with community kids mixed in went head-to-head. Each game was exciting, with rapid lead changes and a few of the decisions coming down to the buzzer.

The concept for the community tournament and fundraiser came from Joe Aiello and Francis Buonaiuto of Aldrich Sports League. They said they wanted to jump start their third season of the 5 vs. 5 soccer league and other tournaments with a fundraiser.

Destiny Salter of NoFo Kid Connect said the two contacted her organization because of their successful Cops Vs. Kids basketball game in January and their Greenport Summer Basketball Tournament — this year’s happening July 26. The proceeds, still being counted at press time, are destined for North Fork community youth sports and scholarships for graduates involved with athletics.

Photos by Daniel Franc

Beyond the captivating action of the basketball tournament, the day included family fun like a dunk tank and half-time show, burgers and dogs cooked to order, raffles and a host of goodies available from Black Sheep Bagels in Jamesport.

Both organizations considered the Community Kids Basketball Tournament a success and plan to build it into an annual event moving forward. They each have lots going on this year with Aldrich Sports League’s King of the Campo and King of the Court soccer and basketball tournaments happening in Laurel and NoFo Kid Connect’s youth basketball clinics happening in Greenport.

Congratulations to the champions, the First Responders. Put it way down here so as not to spoil it. (Credit: Angela Colangelo)

Saturday is Kids Fishing Day at DNR Pocket Park — marking the 32nd anniversary of the annual Kids Fishing Day this year.

The day of fun, fishing and families will be held Saturday, June 7 at the Michigan Department of Natural Resources Pocket Park, located on the Upper Peninsula State Fairgrounds in Escanaba.

Registratioan for Kids Fishing Day will be from noon to 1:30 p.m. EDT and the event will run until 3 p.m. All activities are free of charge and open to youth ages 16 years old and younger.

“We are excited to again hold our fishing event at the Pocket Park,” said Brenda Madden, longtime Kids Fishing Day team member and organizer. “It offers plenty of space for most all the traditional fun favorites at Kids Fishing Day events, plus some new activities; and the Pocket Park offers a beautiful natural-like setting right in the middle of Escanaba.”

Familiar activities returning include bluegill fishing, minnow races and face painting, along with free food and raffle prizes.

Greg Karch certified angler instructor and founder of the non-profit organization Learn 2 Fish With Us, will be returning to the event this year to teach kids how to cast a fishing line and tie fishing knots.

Karch’s organization has educated more than 50,000 anglers in Wisconsin since 2006 and has hosted nearly 300 fishing workshops, including Kids Fishing Day at Camp 7 where he offered Backyard Bass for youngsters.

In addition, Smokey Bear will be wandering the grounds and the DNR will have a scavenger hunt and opportunities for kids to learn how to shoot at the Pocket Park’s archery and pellet gun ranges.

This year’s Kids Fishing Day event will be held in conjunction with the DNR’s free fishing weekend. Camping is available on the fairgrounds. Contact the Delta County Chamber of Commerce.

The DNR Pocket Park is located nearest Gate No. 1 at the fairgrounds, which can be accessed from 12th Avenue North.

Partners include the Bay de Noc Great Lakes Sports Fishermen, Inc., Michigan Department of Natural Resources and the USDA Forest Service.

For more information, or if you would like to volunteer to help at the event, please contact Brenda at 906-286-1348.

The roar of the crowd, the thrill of competition, the camaraderie among teammates – youth sports offer invaluable experiences for kids. But for the families who cheer them on from the sidelines, the reality often involves a whirlwind of travel, early mornings, and logistical puzzles. From baseball diamonds in the spring to cheer competitions in the winter, the year-round nature of youth sports means families are frequently on the road. IHG Hotels & Resorts aims to be a valuable teammate for traveling sports families, offering a diverse portfolio of hotel options and price points designed to make youth sports travel a breeze.

Conveniently located across the U.S. and Canada, IHG’s brands are tailored to accommodate the unique needs of teams and their biggest fans. Here are some winning tips for families hitting the road for youth sports:

Fuel Up for Success:

• Embrace the Free Breakfast: Kids Eat Free at Holiday Inn and the entire family can enjoy complimentary hot breakfasts offered at Holiday Inn Express, Garner and Atwell Suites. This not only saves money but also precious time, ensuring everyone starts their busy game day with a nutritious meal. With options ranging from hearty scrambled eggs to lighter choices like fresh fruit and yogurt, there’s something to please even the pickiest eaters.

Make Space and Save Time:

• Consider a Suite Life: For longer tournaments or when traveling with multiple siblings, apartment-style accommodations like Staybridge Suites and Candlewood Suites can be a game-changer. Separate living areas provide much-needed space to relax after a long day, while fully equipped kitchens offer the flexibility to prepare some of your own meals and snacks, saving money and catering to dietary needs. The free onsite laundry facilities are a lifesaver for those inevitable muddy uniforms and spilled drinks.

Prioritize Rest and Recovery:

• Sleep Like a Champion: A good night’s sleep is crucial for both athletes and their cheering squad. Hotels like avid prioritize sound sleep with high-quality mattresses and bedding, a choice of firm and soft pillows, blackout roller shades, and thoughtful design to minimize noise disruption. Ensuring everyone is well-rested can make a significant difference in energy levels and overall enjoyment.

Smart Spending and Future Adventures:

• Leverage Loyalty Programs: Make your travel dollars work harder for you by booking with IHG One Rewards. Earn points with each stay that can be redeemed for future family getaways, turning those sports trips into opportunities for well-deserved vacations.
• Stay Longer, Save More: For those extended tournament weekends, look for deals like IHG’s offer to save up to 15% on stays of three or more nights. These savings can help offset the costs associated with travel.

By choosing accommodations that cater to the unique needs of families and implementing smart travel strategies, you can transform the experience from a logistical challenge into a memorable adventure for the whole team – both on and off the field. So pack your bags, prepare to cheer, and remember that with a little planning, you can conquer the sidelines and make every tournament a win.

Things to do in Kalamazoo

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Check out events by category:

Kalamazoo Farmers Market – Kalamazoo Farmers Market
6/3, 8:00 AM

Wallace & Gromit and Shaun the Sheep: Sheer Genius! Exhibit – Kalamazoo Valley Museum
6/3, 10:00 AM

Edison Blossoms – Edison Neighborhood Association
6/3, 11:00 AM

Bridge Club – Richland Community Library
6/3, 12:00 PM

Craft Stitching Group – Parchment Community Library
6/3, 1:00 PM

Memory Wire Bracelet Class – South County Senior Center
6/3, 1:00 PM

Fresh on Q: Texas Township Farmers’ Market – Joyce I. Neubauer Farmers’ Market Pavilion
6/3, 4:00 PM

Food Truck Tuesdays On The Road – Midtown Fresh Market
6/3, 5:00 PM

Skin Spot Check Clinic – WMed Health Family Medicine
6/3, 5:30 PM

Kalamazoo Premier Chess Club – Urban Alliance
6/3, 6:00 PM

No Shelf Control: a Graphic Novel Book Club – Kalamazoo Public Library, Central
6/3, 6:00 PM

Trivia – Sit and Stay Winery
6/3, 6:00 PM

Fiber Arts Group – Comstock Township Library
6/3, 6:00 PM

Celery Flats Women’s Ride – Celery Flats
6/3, 6:00 PM

Trivia Night @ Louie’s Trophy House – Louie’s Trophy House
6/3, 7:00 PM

Best Trivia Ever Tuesdays – Shakespeare’s Pub
6/3, 7:00 PM

Laugh Draft – Stand Up Comedy – Apoptosis Brewing Co.
6/3, 7:00 PM

Survey Feud – Revel & Roll West
6/3, 7:00 PM

“Twelve Angry Men” – Barn Theatre
6/3, 8:00 PM

Baby/Toddler Storytime at Portage District Library – Portage District Library
6/4, 9:30 AM

Baby Prom – Portage District Library
6/4, 9:30 AM

Village Playdate and Diaper Giveaway – Rootead
6/4, 10:00 AM

Wallace & Gromit and Shaun the Sheep: Sheer Genius! Exhibit – Kalamazoo Valley Museum
6/4, 10:00 AM

KYDNet Summer Communities of Practice Workshop for Youth Development Advocates – Kalamazoo Civic Theatre, Carver Center
6/4, 10:00 AM

Card Groups: Hand & Foot – Richland Area Community Center
6/4, 11:30 AM

Card Groups: Euchre – Richland Area Community Center
6/4, 12:00 PM

Ping Pong – Richland Area Community Center
6/4, 1:00 PM

String Methods Class Concert – Kalamazoo College, Dalton Theatre
6/4, 1:45 PM

Richland Farmers’ Market – Richland Area Community Center
6/4, 3:00 PM

Applied Recital – Kalamazoo College, Light Fine Arts Building
6/4, 4:10 PM

Youth & Teen Creative Workshops – Kalamazoo Civic Theatre
6/4, 5:30 PM

Beats on Bates – Bates Alley
6/4, 5:30 PM

Wednesday Game Night – Main Street Pub, West Main
6/4, 6:00 PM

Wednesday Night Ride – Kal-Haven Trailhead
6/4, 6:00 PM

Arcadia Creek Festival Place Open House – Arcadia Creek Festival Place
6/4, 6:00 PM

Monarch Waystation Presentation & Tour – Portage District Library
6/4, 6:30 PM

Trivia in the Taproom – Apoptosis Brewing Co.
6/4, 7:00 PM

Music Bingo Night – Main Street Pub Vicksburg
6/4, 7:00 PM

Sporcle Trivia at Brewery Outré – Brewery Outré
6/4, 7:00 PM

Karaoke Bingo – Presidential Brewing Co.
6/4, 7:00 PM

Kalamazoo FC Women vs Detroit City FC – Mayors’ Riverfront Park
6/4, 7:00 PM

LFG Trivia Night – LFG Gaming Bar
6/4, 7:00 PM

International Percussion Ensemble – Kalamazoo College, Dalton Theatre
6/4, 7:00 PM

Open Mic Night @ Louie’s Trophy House – Louie’s Trophy House
6/4, 8:00 PM

“Twelve Angry Men” – Barn Theatre
6/4, 8:00 PM

Drag King Pride Trivia – Bell’s Eccentric Cafe
6/4, 8:00 PM

Extreme Karaoke – Shakespeare’s Pub
6/4, 8:30 PM

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