Every year, on the first day of school, we take pictures of our kids with those little chalkboards so we can have the memories to look back on of their first and/or last day of school. But there’s something that often appears on those chalkboards that we need to be aware of.

Right next to grade, age, and the teacher’s name, there’s often a box that says, “When I grow up, I want to be…” There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that question—it’s fun to get a peek into our kids’ dreams—but if we’re not careful, those childhood dreams can cause us to feel and do some things that, while having the best of intentions, can add unnecessary pressure to our kids’ childhood.

Especially when they say they want to be a college or professional athlete.

Two recent studies are shedding new light on parental expectations when it comes to youth sports. One was from Talker Research and BSN Sports, and the other from a collaboration between the University of Florida and The Ohio State University. Both studies analyze what parents expect out of their kids’ youth sports journey. The Florida/Ohio State survey took it one step further to determine what the driving factors of those expectations are. What they found was that parents of kids who filled out that box on the chalkboard with “pro athlete” were the ones who were more likely to believe their kid would grow up to be a pro athlete.

While I’m all for supporting your kid’s dreams—seriously, hype them up, be their biggest fan, help them go after whatever big, gigantic thing they can dream up! But it’s also important for us as the adults in the room to understand what chasing those dreams actually looks like.

By The Numbers

When our kids are young, and they’re all in on a sport, it’s easy to watch their passion and think they’re going to always have that same love for their game, especially if they have some advanced abilities early on. But we all change. I’m willing to bet many of the hobbies and interests you had five years ago are not the same ones you have today.

Kids often go through the same shift. For all the things that have changed in our culture over the last 20 years, one consistent thing has been that 70% of kids stop playing sports by the time they’re 13. Of the ten kids on your kid’s tee ball team, seven of them won’t be playing by middle school, and there are a myriad of reasons behind that.

But your kid with pro athlete dreams is likely not part of the 70%. They’re probably the ones that will push through and continue playing. Even if they make it to the varsity level in high school, only 6% of varsity athletes play college sports at any level. That includes NCAA Divisions I, II, and III, NAIA, and NCCAA (junior college/community college). Only 2.5% of high school athletes will go on to play at the NCAA Division I level, which is the highest.

To put it into perspective, if you lined up 100 elementary-aged kids on a field, at most two of them (1.8% really) will go on to play in college.

Dan Meske, the head coach of the University of Louisville Women’s Volleyball team, tells me this about college recruiting. “There was a legendary coach in the volleyball landscape, Russ Rose. He coached at Penn State. And I’ve always remembered what he said about recruiting. He said, ‘If it’s not the best kid you’ve ever seen, she probably can’t play for me.’ That kind of sets the water level because the level (of play) is so high.”

But let’s say your kid makes it! Let’s assume they’re the best of the best and end up playing in college somewhere. Even then, less than 2% of NCAA athletes go pro. The percentages vary by sport, but if we look at that field we just lined up 100 elementary-aged kids on, we would have to put 6,667 kids on that field for there to statistically be one professional athlete on it.

Supporting Our Kids With Perspective

Now, it’s easy to read that and think I’m telling you that it’s not going to happen, so you shouldn’t support your kid’s dreams. That’s not what I’m saying at all.

As parents, I want you to fully support your kid’s dreams, but I want you to do it with eyes wide open and realistic expectations so that you don’t put extra pressure on your kid. After all, the number one reason those kids stop playing by 13 is because their sport stops being fun.

The Talker Research survey found that 17% of parents surveyed believed their child “is meant to be a pro at their sport someday.” That’s simply not the reality of the sports environment our kids are walking into.

When we believe our kid is “meant to be” something, we attach their identity to that activity. It could be sports, a vocation, the arts, or any other label. When their identity is in that label, we don’t give them space or the ability to explore other things as they grow up, and their interests inevitably change.

A long-term high school athletic director once told me we should treat elementary school like a buffet and let our kids try everything to see what they like. That exploration doesn’t happen when we have an unrealistic expectation that our kid is part of the less than 2% and will eventually get to the levels 98% of kids will never reach.

The good news is that most parents change their expectations over time. The University of Florida/ Ohio State study found, “parents typically decrease their expectations for their children’s sport achievement as their children age. Apparently, parents are continually adjusting their expectations as they encounter new information about their children’s chances of success, so that parents with initially high expectations tend to develop more refined and accurate expectations later as they process new information about the difficulty of becoming an elite athlete.”

What Healthy Support Looks Like For Parents

Our role as parents is to help facilitate our kids’ passions in whatever ways possible. So, whether your kid dreams of being a professional athlete or has another big, giant dream, you should support that dream, but in healthy, age-appropriate ways.

Here are three quick tips to keep in the back of your mind as you support your kid’s journey.

Support the dream, but hold the outcome loosely

The problem with the 17% of parents who believe their kid is “meant to be a pro” is not that the parents believe their kid could become a pro. It’s that they felt the kid was meant to be one. We can validate our kids’ dreams and support their efforts toward the dream without predicting the ending. The certainty of that prediction removes flexibility and adds pressure.

You can try supportive language to encourage your child’s dream.

• Say “I love that you care about this” instead of “You’re meant to make it.”
• We can tell our kids, “I think you can make it if you work really hard and give it your all,” instead of, “If you work really hard, you’re going to get there.”

That subtle shift in wording continues encouraging them to pursue the dream while also creating emotional safety and not creating additional pressure.

Fight off any fear or urgency

We live in a culture that celebrates prodigies. But did you know that early success is actually a poor predictor of long-term success?

A recent study looked at more than 30,000 people who ended up becoming elite adults. We’re talking about Olympic athletes, world-class musicians, etc. The study found that only 10% of these adults who reached the highest levels in their fields were standout performers as kids. At the same time, most of the kids who were elite at a young age didn’t end up staying at that level as they grew up.

The thing that separates those who made it to high levels wasn’t early dominance or specializing as young as possible; it was time.

“If you have an athlete living in your house who is destined for that level, they will get there. We do not need to manufacture it in elementary school,” legendary USA Softball player and San Diego State Coach Stacey Nuveman-Deniz told me on my podcast, Healthy Sports Parents.

If your kid is meant to get there, they will, but it will be because it was their dream and they took ownership of it, not because you pushed them hard and fast as kids.

Help your kid own the journey

It is really easy—like ridiculously easy—for our kids’ dream to become our dream. We see them excited about something and start imagining what it might look like for them to reach it.

But we have to remember this is their dream to be a professional athlete, not ours. Our role is to facilitate their dream. Show them what it’ll take to reach the level they want to get to. Offer opportunities for growth. Ask probing questions. Ultimately, though, let them be the decision maker.

And I know, there’s fear that comes with that idea. What if they get left behind? What if they make the wrong choice? What if…? 

As Coach Nuveman-Deniz says, if your child is destined for that level, they’ll get there. They’ll catch up. They’ll learn. But while it might sound scary, failure in safe environments is often the best teacher our kids will ever have. Give them room to make the wrong decisions and then provide a safe place for them to learn from that failure and bounce back. If their dream is really their dream, they’ll find their way.

What Matters Most In Their Journeys 

Kids can have big dreams, but they still need space to be kids. The reality is, whether your kid makes it to the pros or is part of the 70% who quit before 13, every kid eventually plays their last game at some point. 

The value in youth sports is not how far a kid goes or how much money they make. The true value is found in the type of human they grow into through the lessons they learn in sports.

Let’s walk in the tension of supporting our kids’ wildest dreams while also giving them the freedom to explore growing up in healthy ways.

PHOTOS: Lakewood Vs. Millikan, Boys’ Soccer

The562’s coverage of Lakewood Athletics is sponsored by J.P. Crawford, Class of 2013. The562’s coverage of Millikan Athletics for the 2025-26 school year is sponsored by Brian Ramsey and TLD Law. The562’s high school soccer coverage for the 2025-26 season is sponsored by Long Beach Poly soccer alum Kennedy Justin

ROCHESTER, Minn. (KTTC) – Schaeffer Academy’s Luke Friese knew he was playing well against Alden-Conger/Glenville-Emmons last week. He just didn’t know how well, exactly.

“I was just going, and I kept looking at the scoreboard like ‘we’re just going to keep winning,’” Freise said. “Our scoreboard doesn’t have the points of what player, so I was just out there playing. I had no clue what my stats were.”

“I asked our stat people at the end of the bench on the iPad, ‘how many does Luke have? And they said, ’29,’” head coach Tom Bance said. “We still had 5 minutes to go in the first half.”

Friese scored 36 points in the first half and 45 total in a Lions win. With the outing, he set the Schaeffer Academy single-game scoring record, breaking his own record from earlier this season.

“Since we have a close-knit community at Schaeffer, lots of people know that I play basketball and stuff, so it meant a lot to me that I got to get this record and get remembered at least a little part of Schaeffer that I scored the most points in a game.”

His massive performances are the result of a massive role. Last season he shared the floor with the Lions’ all-time leading scorer Ethan Van Schepen. This season, as one of just two seniors on the team, the offense flows through Friese.

“I really like being the go-to guy, but I also love passing it up to my teammates and making sure they get involved,” he said. “So I think we’ve found a good happy medium.”

A player willing to do whatever he needs to help the team.

“I’ve coached for a long time and he’s probably the best captain I’ve ever had, where he just leads those kids,” Bance said. “He’s encouraging the other guys to look for their shot and they’re doing a great job of getting better at that, but they’re still young, so Luke just knows ‘I’ve got to be the guy that’s going to have to score.’”

It’s a selfless approach to massive individual numbers. His ability as a three-level scorer is on display with each box score he fills and record he sets. As his name will live on in the Schaeffer Academy record books, it’s a perfect name to represent the Lions.

“He’s everything that I think Schaeffer basketball should be about: faith, hard work, dedication to the game,” Bance said. “So it couldn’t have happened to a better guy.”

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Copyright 2026 KTTC. All rights reserved.

Portola Coach Brian Smith leads his team in a game in December. (PHOTO: Tim Burt, OC Sports Zone).

Portola head boys basketball coach Brian Smith has been enjoying the 2025-26 season. His Bulldogs have a 15-5 overall record and are 2-0 in the Pacific Coast League.

In December, Smith celebrated his 300th career victory and after another game, his 100th career victory at Portola. It’s his 10th year running the Portola program, which is in its eighth year of varsity competitiion.

“That just says it’s a long career, I’ve been doing this a long time,” said Smith, who has been coaching for 30 years, 21 years as a head coach. “I’m very blessed to have coaches and players in New Mexico and here who played for me. I’ve opened two schools, there’s been a lot put into this career and I’m really enjoying this group right now, they’re making it more fun for me and my coaches do a great job.

“Those 300 wins, it’s all those other coaches and the players who played for me as well that make me do what I do.”

Portola hosts Woodbridge Tuesday night.

—Tim Burt, OC Sports Zone; timburt@ocsportszone.com

Cisco Blogs / Natalia Safatli

Leader, Customer Delivery

Americas CX SP Canada

I launched my Cisco career in 2012 as a bilingual logistics agent, energetically supporting the LATAM team, within our dynamic supply chain and logistics operations. Motivated by an unwavering commitment to excellence, innovation, and collaboration, I joined the Cisco High Touch Operations team in 2016, where I delivered outstanding support to American and Canadian customers.

Embracing new opportunities for growth, I advanced in 2021 to Service Delivery Manager, further progressing to Team Lead, Expert Care Lead, and now proudly serve as PMO and Expert Care Lead for Service Provider (SP) Canada. I am especially enthusiastic about the integration of artificial intelligence within our organization, recognizing its transformative impact on efficiency, customer experience, and the future of technology. Throughout my journey, I have remained deeply positive and grateful for the teamwork, mentorship, and visionary leadership that have shaped my professional path.

Beyond my fulfilling career, I am a proud mother of two and an active volunteer with the Canadian Red Cross and Saint John Ambulance dog therapy program in Halifax, Nova Scotia. My passion for community engagement extends to youth sports, where I serve as a backup coach for my daughter’s soccer team and actively support my son’s baseball team.

In my spare time, I am dedicated to continuous self-improvement, challenging myself through self-study, pursuing Cisco-recommended learning paths, and advancing my knowledge in AI and IT security. I approach every aspect of life and work with enthusiasm, optimism, and a genuine desire to create a positive and lasting impact.

Articles

Many in the area have their attention in the sports world on the Buffalo Bills after the exciting win over the Jacksonville Jaguars in the wildcard round. But there is reason to be excited when it comes to boys high school basketball in the north county.

Both Fredonia and Dunkirk are off to fantastic starts — and have brought renewed energy to a rivalry that played out more than a week ago. For the first time in eight years, the Marauders were victorious over the Hillbillies.

Sixto Rosario, longtime advocate and youth basketball enthusiast, is the Dunkirk coach. His emotions came out once the buzzer sounded.

“I want to thank all the fans and everybody for believing,” Rosario said. “I love Dunkirk. I love the program. I love the kids. This is a great feeling.”

Both teams play again in February in Fredonia. Based on the current winning ways for both schools, the tilt will be highly anticipated.