CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — North Carolina will not be the 33rd NFL team this year. The Tar Heels probably won’t be the 33rd college football team, either.
This was made painfully obvious by Texas Christian, which reminded everyone Monday night that its football team has won a lot of games over the years and even played for the national championship three seasons ago.
That program was always going to destroy one slapped together on the fly, with 70 new players — 70 — jumping at the chance to play for an all-time great. Bill Belichick brought them in at a dizzying pace, all while selling the notion that his life in the NFL made him a good fit for the pay-for-play era of college football free agency.
Belichick actually had no idea what big-time college football was all about, and TCU’s Sonny Dykes and his Horned Frogs were happy to prove it. This 48-14 smackdown was beyond humiliating. It was soul-crushing for the North Carolina alums and fans who hadn’t seen an ACC football title since Lawrence Taylor’s days, and who showed up at Kenan Stadium looking for some Dean Dome magic in an unfamiliar place.
They showed up looking for a Division I version of the Tom Brady Patriots, and got a very poor man’s version of the Mac Jones and Bailey Zappe Patriots instead. No Belichick team had ever surrendered as many as 48 points.
The Tar Heels couldn’t stop quarterback Josh Hoover or receiver Jordan Dwyer or running back Kevorian Barnes, and they couldn’t protect the ball. The home team had no chemistry and no clue. Its game plan turned out to be as empty as the UNC depth chart distributed in the press box before the game.
“Obviously,” Belichick said afterward, “we have a lot of work to do.”
He seemed humbled by the mess his team made. Standing at a podium in his gray hoodie, with an arrangement of blue and white balloons and silver stars behind him, Belichick described the atmosphere as great and the fans as awesome.
But in the end, the paying customers and North Carolina dignitaries got what they always got from their football coaches — a raw deal on their investment. Fans started leaving with more than 23 minutes left on the clock and TCU holding a 34-7 lead.
Belichick had to be embarrassed by this standalone prime-time flop. His debut made Arch Manning’s look like the Mona Lisa.
While his players charged out of the tunnel to fireworks before the game, the 73-year-old Belichick walked slowly toward the field as he was surrounded by state troopers. He spent the rest of the night looking like an out-of-towner who had been pulled over for speeding.
Even when the Tar Heels opened the game with a fast break that made a proud man of the signature VIP in attendance, Michael Jordan, Belichick was just as stone-faced as he was in the NFL. Perhaps he knew that 83-yard touchdown drive wasn’t going to rattle a program as rock solid as TCU’s.
Perhaps he knew that the absence of preseason games at this level, and the inability to treat September as an extension of the preseason, would catch up to his raw Tar Heels in a big way.
But it wouldn’t be prudent to view this performance as hard evidence that the world’s oldest freshman is destined to fail in college after coaching 49 consecutive seasons in the pros. Belichick did lose 13 of his first 18 games in New England before leading the Patriots to nine Super Bowl appearances and six titles.
Just like any other freshman, he needs time to figure this thing out.
Time to show Robert Kraft and every other NFL owner who didn’t want him that they made a huge mistake by relegating him to the ACC after he went 4-13 in his final Patriots season.
Worst-case scenario
From here to eternity, the record will show that Mister “Do Your Job” didn’t do his on a day when the rest of America had off. At the end of a wild holiday weekend in college football, nobody had any idea what to expect from North Carolina and a coach whose legendary career surpasses that of Dean Smith.
It turned out to be the worst-case scenario times two.
Belichick took this job with the expectation of making North Carolina an extension of the NFL, team No. 33. And if he failed in that pursuit, he at least figured to solve one of the great longstanding mysteries of the college sports universe.
Given its campus, academic standing, branding power, alumni support and proximity to fertile recruiting grounds, why hasn’t North Carolina football ever approached the success of North Carolina basketball?
Belichick signed those 70 new players and politely asked a bunch of holdovers to leave, and the whole thing would have made a lot of noise even without the omnipresence of his 24-year-old girlfriend, Jordon Hudson, who would put in a trademark application for the term “Gold Digger.”
Belichick no longer rages against distractions. He invites them to lunch and asks them to stay for dinner.
But the man is in love, and if Hudson can help him bridge the divide between a Baby Boomer born during the Korean War and football players in her Gen Z demo, more power to her.
Except there was no apparent connection between Belichick and his players Monday night. His transfer-portal class was ranked among the nation’s top 10 by 247Sports, and yet the Tar Heels were deficient in every aspect of the game. Belichick spoke of how he looked forward to developing college players because “there are fewer bad habits to break,” and yet nothing but bad habits were served up to a national TV audience. His starting quarterback, Gio Lopez, went more than two hours without completing a pass.
“We’ll just keep working and keep grinding away,” Belichick said.
Yes, he will keep working toward the college career he’s long envisioned. His father, Steve, a lifer assistant and scout, raised him on football at the Naval Academy, where Bill grew up around his Heisman Trophy-winning heroes Joe Bellino and Roger Staubach. Steve said his boy was memorizing Navy’s plays by age 6 and breaking down film with precision by the fourth grade. Young Bill loved the community feel and the pageantry of the college game.
All these years later, Grownup Bill seemed to be having a blast reliving his childhood around student-athletes while employing his sons on staff, keeping them close like his dad had kept him close in Annapolis.
And then his Tar Heels ran smack into a defiant and disrespected TCU team. Suddenly, it felt like the end of something rather than the start of anything.
You could almost hear people out there scrambling to find Belichick’s career record without Brady as his quarterback.
This is why the same Falcons team he beat in a Super Bowl wouldn’t hire him. … This is why the same Jets team he tormented for so long wouldn’t even take a meeting with him.
It would be a bad idea to go down that road. Just like in 2000, his first year in Foxborough, Belichick needs a little time … and maybe a more potent quarterback. North Carolina still has only one ranked team on its schedule (Clemson) and a reasonable path to a winning season, which would buy Belichick some breathing room for a major jump in Year 2.
That reality seemed a million miles away on opening night, which was an unmitigated disaster for the world-famous coach. But Belichick did promise that his first college team would get better. It would be a wise choice to listen to him.
(Photo: Jared C. Tilton / Getty Images)