I have been involved in sports in one way or another for about 20 years, coaching, mentoring, parenting, and watching generations of kids come through local programs. What I want to say is not just about sports, it is about how we are treating an entire generation of young people who are growing up in a world completely different from the one we knew.
Right now, many youth programs are facing declining numbers, shrinking budgets and growing frustration among parents and players. Across Vermont and the nation, kids are walking away from sports not because they no longer love the game, but because too often the adults leading them have stopped loving the process of growth.
Across this country, youth sports are struggling. According to the Aspen Institute’s State of Play report, participation among kids ages 6 to 12 has dropped nearly 13% in the past decade. The reasons are complex — burnout, cost, shifting interests — but at the heart of it all is something deeper. Many of our kids are losing faith in the systems meant to guide them.
At the same time, expectations are higher than ever. Parents see a spark of talent and begin to dream of scholarships or professional futures. Kids train year-round, attend elite camps, and study the game through social media and online tutorials. They learn from world-class coaches without leaving their bedrooms. A 10-year-old today can break down offensive schemes or perfect footwork with precision that rivals adult understanding.
Yet, when they show up to practice, many are coached by adults who have not evolved with the times: coaches who rely on the same strategies, philosophies and discipline methods used 30 years ago; coaches who mistake volume for leadership; coaches who cannot see the difference between authority and accountability.
This gap between what kids are capable of and what they are being taught is creating quiet harm. It is the reason so many young athletes are walking away.
Let me give you an example. I know a wide receiver who consistently outperforms every other receiver on his team. His work ethic is unmatched. He spends five days a week in the gym, trains on his own time, and has attended multiple football camps to sharpen his skill set. Every metric, speed, hands, route running, football IQ, says he is ready, and he is not alone. There are so many examples of this across the country.
But come game time, the ball never finds him. The coach makes a conscious decision not to throw his way — not because of a lack of talent, but because of ego and outdated mindset, believing “he’s still young” or “has to wait his turn.” The coach cannot see that the kid has already outgrown the limits placed on him.
That is what is happening across youth sports in America. Too many kids are being stifled by adults who refuse to evolve. Too many are being coached by people who confuse control with development. The result is not just missed opportunities. It is emotional exhaustion, self-doubt and a loss of passion that once burned brightly.
This problem mirrors what we see in education. Today’s youth are more emotionally intelligent, more self-aware and more connected than any generation before them. Yet they are often led by adults who have not kept up. They do not understand how motivation works for this generation or how mental health directly affects performance. The old ways of screaming, shaming, and belittling kids do not build character; they break it.
Modern athletes do not respond to fear. They respond to respect, trust, and authenticity. If we are serious about preparing young people for life, then coaching has to be more than winning games. It has to be about growing human beings who can think, adapt, and lead.
If you are a coach in 2025, your job is not to relive your own playing days. Your job is to prepare your athletes for theirs. That means understanding the game at its current level, studying the evolution of strategy, and integrating the mental side of performance. It means learning, not lecturing. It means recognizing that, when a player understands the game better than you do, that is not a threat; it is an opportunity to teach, to learn, and to grow together.
If your offense still looks like smash-mouth football in 2025, you are not developing players. You are holding them back. You are playing checkers while the rest of the world plays chess.
And let’s be clear, if you are still playing smash-mouth football in high school, you are most definitely not preparing anyone on that team for college ball. There is not a single college program in the country running that style of football. By doing so, these kids will enter college sports so underprepared it will be embarrassing for them.
There is a story known well throughout collegiate football: The majority of freshmen who arrive on campus for their first season are underprepared. They are underprepared in the weight room, in the film room, and underprepared to learn and study the game at the speed and depth required at the next level. This is not limited to football. It is happening across every sport — baseball, soccer, basketball; athletes are showing up unready because their high school coaches did not prepare them.
I have spoken to Division I athletes who said that when they stepped onto a college football field, they were completely overwhelmed. The intensity of the lifting schedule, the complexity of the playbook, and the expectation to study film daily were levels of discipline they had never been taught. These athletes weren’t unmotivated. They were unprepared.
Too many high school coaches are playing for their own glory. They talk about developing kids, but their actions show otherwise. The vast majority are not coaching for the betterment of their players — they are coaching to win games, protect their reputations, or relive their own pasts.
We ask our athletes to give 110%, to train harder, stay longer, and constantly improve. Coaches must hold themselves to that same standard. Leadership requires humility — the ability to admit that the game changes, the generation changes, and you must change with it.
Because if we truly care about our kids, if we truly want them to succeed in sports and in life, then we owe them more than what they are getting.
We need a new kind of coaching culture, one that values emotional intelligence as much as athletic intelligence. We need training programs for coaches who include mental health awareness, communication skills, and generational understanding. Athletic departments must prioritize growth over dominance. Parents must hold programs accountable for development, not just wins.
Youth sports can be a foundation for confidence, resilience and teamwork, or it can be a source of frustration and harm. The difference depends on the adults leading it. We cannot keep demanding greatness from our kids while accepting mediocrity from the adults responsible for guiding them. If we want to save youth sports, we must demand better — not just from the athletes, but from the coaches, programs and systems that shape them.
The game has changed. It is time the people leading it do, too. Because, when a child stops believing in the adults leading them, we all lose far more than a game.
Sean Perry, of Chester, is the CEO and founder of We R H.O.P.E. Inc., a national youth mental health and development organization based in Vermont.
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