Ryann thinks she gets her humor from Peter. There are flavors of sarcasm and honesty that permeate the Neushul household.
“What I appreciate most about my father is that he tells me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear,” Ryann said. “And to me, that is the biggest kindness you can show a person you love. I don’t want someone around who, when there’s food stuck in your teeth, won’t point it out. The great thing about my dad is he will always tell you — ‘There’s food in your mouth, Sweetie. Just thought you should know.’ Or, in the case of water polo, ‘Yeah, I think you could have done better there. Work on that shot in practice.’”
Cathy is no-nonsense. In parenting and coaching, there are rules to follow. And if there is a rule, it must be followed. Unapologetically strict, Cathy kicked out Ryann out of her share of practices, holding her daughters to the highest of standards.
When Ryann was 13, she told her mom that she was too tired to go to soccer practice.
“OK,” Cathy said. “If we’re going to miss this practice, we’re done with soccer forever.”
“Just one practice?”
“You can’t decide when you want to go to practice. This isn’t optional. If you’re not buying into a team and committed to going, you’re done.”
Cathy doesn’t recall that conversation, but agrees it’s something she would have said. Ryann indeed never played soccer again, and the lesson stuck, though she never would have done the same in water polo, which she enjoyed more anyway. It emphasized the importance of showing up and committing to a team.
“I feel this sense of loyalty and honor to any team I’m on, because of how important my mom stressed that,” Ryann said. “You don’t get a player like myself or my sisters without a mother who’s pushing the importance of it.”
Kiley, a USA Water Polo Hall of Famer, recently was hired to give a personal hour-long training session to a young player. The thought amused her. Kiley never had a private lesson, partly because each day in the pool with her parents and sisters was a personal training session of its own.
When Ryann was nine and Kiley already a 16-year-old star, Kiley took her little sister into the pool and dared Ryann to block her shot. Ryann didn’t have a chance, but Kiley never relented.
“You need to get your block up because I’m going to keep shooting,” Kiley told her.
Shot after shot after shot, these were the types of lessons that can’t be bought.
“When I played against Ryann, I never grabbed her suit,” Kiley said. “I never kicked her. I never punched her. I never had to kick off of her to do something. I would say 95 percent of water polo players need to do that. But against Ryann, I was always like, ‘I will beat you and I will do it the right way.’”
Ryann welcomed these trials, and continues to challenge herself in any way possible.
“This game makes you fight, it makes you find the will,” she said. “Sometimes, it feels like you got hit by a car, and you’ve got to keep playing. You have to dig deep – you have to dig real keep – and that digging deep is what prepares you for the Olympic Games. If you don’t have that hard work, if you don’t have that toughness, then you don’t have anything to draw from.”
On a similar subject, Ryann recalled this story:
“I want to get faster at swimming,” a teammate once asked at practice. “How do I do that?”
Aria Fischer, a former Cardinal who won gold in Rio, mulled the question over and came up with this answer.
“You wake up and you swim,” Fischer said. “And the next day, you wake up and you swim again. And the day after that, you wake up and swim. Day after that … swim. You swim and then you swim and then you swim until you get faster.”
In other words, you can’t do it without the work.
“In water polo, you’re always tired,” Neushul said. “So, if you make decisions while you’re super rested all the time in practice, it may look really beautiful, but then you’re going to get in the game and you know, this Italian woman’s going to be hitting you, and you’re going to have to make a decision.
“That’s what water polo is. It’s being pushed to your physical and mental limit. Every week you’re like, How am I going to get up tomorrow? But you get up. The human body, and your mentality, can do so much more than you think it can.”