snowboarding & divine timing.

I was going to be okay. Adam had been asking me to try snowboarding since we moved to Western Colorado almost three years ago. The lyrics of snow-covered hills, and evolution, and being “‘fraid of changing,” and the child in my heart, and rising above filled my skull and vibrated around, instantly calming me. The thing that came to my mind was axe-throwing, which was something I tried over the summer with my parents and my boyfriend, Adam. (I ended up loving it despite being nervous to try—more thoughts on that in this post I wrote afterwards.)On my girls’ trip this October, we recorded an episode for my friend’s podcast. We ended with a speed round of questions. You know the type—what would you bring to a deserted island, what’s your favorite book, what is your spirit animal?And I did the damn thing. Court. I’d been resisting for almost three years because, honestly, I was fucking terrified. But this year, something felt different. I felt ready to at least give an old college try to snowboarding and I finally had a sense of ease and excitement about it, in contrast to the fear and panic I’ve felt in the past. Because we should all keep trying new things. And what a freeing experience that was. I went from not being able to stand up to going down baby hills to going down bigger hills, to going down a full green run (with lots of falls, of course). She helped me work through my fear of uncontrollable downhill speed. She gave Adam tips on things to work on with me over the course of this winter. Trust your nudges. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s probably not. It might not make sense, but that doesn’t really matter. I don’t know why I wasn’t ready to try snowboarding three, two years ago. But I wasn’t. And I honored that. And when I finally was, it ended up being an incredible experience that I can’t wait to have again. And it was: What was the last NEW thing you tried? xx,But there was one question that stumped a few of us. “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac was playing.

And that was snowboarding. Sitting next to Adam on the lift, suspended in air and (what felt like) time, looking up the snow-covered mountain and down at the other snowboarders and skiers below, I knew my scared child inside had risen above. That I can handle the seasons of my life. My takeaway from all this? There was one thing I knew for absolute certain: I needed a lesson this time. I couldn’t even fathom going into it blind again. And I wanted him there with me. So while I didn’t get to say “snowboarding!” as my new thing that I tried during that speed round back in October, I’m saying it now. Cue the exuberance. Cue going to his father’s house to hunt down one of his sister’s old boards. Cue ordering snow pants and goggles and gloves from the Dick’s Sporting Goods website. Cue standing in our living room on snowboards trying to determine if I’d be “regular” or “goofy” footed. Cue him calling Powderhorn, the lodge that’s about forty miles from us, to schedule a semi-private lesson for two hours at 9 a.m. that Saturday. Cue him reserving my rental helmet and boots, and packaging our “EZ-Rider” lift tickets for the rest of the day. I ended up doing two green runs without falling down (although I did only get off the lift perfectly once… baby steps). Despite what I’m sure looks like Frankenstein monster’s performance of snowboarding, I actually had fun.

But there was one new thing I thought of that I really wanted to be able to say I had tried… but hadn’t yet. This song has a special place in my heart. It’s been mine and my dad’s song for a long, long time. want to receive a similar post every Thursday? subscribe for free! (I’ll do a happy dance!)Our guide was the most amazing person ever.On Friday night, we set our alarms for 6:30 a.m. and packed the car. I went to bed slightly nervous, but mostly just leaning into the feeling of, “Whatever is meant to happen, will happen.” I had no expectations, so that I couldn’t be let down. I was fully prepared to just be present in the moment and take it second by second. Divine timing. Synchronicity. There was some reason it didn’t feel right to try snowboarding for all those years and for some reason it felt right to try now. I was the person that could handle it.

all good things live outside your comfort zone. outside of it is the only place that growth happens.

“Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?”And what a wonderful life it is. I said to Adam at some point, “You know, I’m ready to try snowboarding this winter.”

I had a really bad experience when I tried skiing for the first time five years ago with a group of friends up in Vermont. I had never gone before and needless to say their lessons of “pizza!” and “french fry!” didn’t mean shit once I got off the lift and had utterly no idea how to get myself down the mountain. I ended up having to hobble to help and got bobsledded down the mountain. Traumatic.