Dear Annie: There’s a little boy in my son’s school — he’s 6 years old — who has a history of being very physical with other kids, including my son. They were in the same class previously, and my son would come home upset, sometimes with bruises, telling me this boy had hit or shoved him during the day. Thankfully, they’re not in the same class anymore, but they’ve ended up on two different sports teams together in the past year. And the same thing keeps happening.
Just recently, my son came home after practice with a bruise on his back where this boy punched him. He wasn’t the only one. Other kids have been hurt, too — nothing life-threatening, but enough to cause pain, fear and frustration. What hurts me most is that the boy’s parents never apologize. The mom in particular seems to excuse or downplay the behavior, treating him like he’s too little to be held accountable, while other children are being hurt.
I feel protective and, frankly, angry. I want to advocate for my son, but I also don’t want to be that parent who makes waves or alienates another family. I’ve thought about just pulling my son off the team — but why should he have to lose out on something he enjoys because of another child’s behavior?
I keep wondering: what’s the right thing to do here? How do I protect my child while still trying to show compassion for another one who may be struggling? And is there a way to address this with the other parents or the coach without making it worse? — Concerned Mom
Dear Concerned: You’re right to be concerned — and your instincts are spot on.
No child should be expected to tolerate physical aggression, especially in a setting that’s supposed to be safe and fun. Sports are meant to build confidence and teamwork — not bruises and anxiety. The fact that this behavior is recurring across different environments tells me this is not an isolated issue, and it needs to be addressed head-on.
You don’t need to remove your son from the team. That would punish him for someone else’s behavior. Instead, speak directly with the coach or league organizer. Calmly explain what has happened and how it’s affected your child. Focus on safety — not blame. Ask what steps are in place to protect kids and what can be done moving forward.
As for the other parents, it’s unfortunate they haven’t stepped up. But their denial doesn’t mean you have to stay silent. If you feel comfortable, a direct but respectful conversation might help — but don’t count on it. Some parents need more growing up than their children.
At the age of 6, your son needs you as his advocate. Trust yourself. Protecting him is not overreacting; it’s good parenting.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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