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'I don't even recognise myself anymore'

The UK is facing what charities are calling an eating disorder epidemic, with an estimated 1.25 million people affected. These conditions have the highest mortality rate of any mental health illness, making early intervention and education urgent. Yet, within the world of sport, eating disorders often go undetected and unchallenged. Disordered behaviour, such as restricting […]

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'I don't even recognise myself anymore'

The UK is facing what charities are calling an eating disorder epidemic, with an estimated 1.25 million people affected. These conditions have the highest mortality rate of any mental health illness, making early intervention and education urgent.

Yet, within the world of sport, eating disorders often go undetected and unchallenged. Disordered behaviour, such as restricting food intake, purging, binge eating, or abusing laxatives, are sometimes normalised in competitive environments, embedded into routines and disguised as dedication.

Eating disorders thrive in silence. They’re secretive, isolating and can affect athletes of all genders, ages and backgrounds, whether at grassroots or elite levels.

In sport, several factors can trigger or worsen disordered behaviour: pressure to perform, body dissatisfaction, weight-category requirements and cultural ideals of what an “athletic” body should look like.

In this context, harmful practices like dehydration, extreme weight-cutting and overtraining often become accepted – and are sometimes even encouraged.




Read more:
How fighters make weight in combat sports – and regain it for the match


In some sports, the risks are tragically clear. Take bodybuilding. One heartbreaking example is 20-year-old Jodi Vance, who died from heart failure caused by dehydration during preparations for a competition.

In combat sports and martial arts, eating disorders are frequently acknowledged, yet meaningful solutions are rarely discussed. Fighters like Paige VanZant and Kay Hansen have openly shared their struggles with disordered eating, which in many sports, is still dismissed as just “part of the process”.

Extreme tactics

Even worse, some coaches perpetuate a toxic culture by fat-shaming athletes or joking about serious conditions like bulimia. In such environments, young athletes can become trapped in cycles of physical and emotional harm.

In my own research with UK-based mixed martial arts (MMA) fighters, I spent months observing and interviewing athletes across various gyms. Many described extreme weight-loss tactics before fights – dropping both fat and water weight in dangerously short time frames. These methods took a toll on both their bodies and mental health.

I witnessed fighters collapse from exhaustion and dehydration. I heard coaches make jokes about eating disorders. One fighter told me: “I don’t even recognise myself anymore,” echoing the public experiences of UFC fighter Paddy Pimblett, who has shared his struggles with binge eating and body image.

These stories hit close to home.

During my own time in MMA, I developed atypical anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder. I was praised for rapid weight loss – not for my skill or performance. At one point, I was training to the point of experiencing heart palpitations, dizziness and nausea. Yet, these symptoms were brushed off as signs of “good training”.

Eating disorders don’t discriminate

Even when I lived in a larger body, I was still suffering from an eating disorder. This is a crucial reminder: you cannot tell if someone is unwell just by looking at them. This isn’t just an issue in fight sports. Disordered eating affects athletes across many disciplines.

Footballer Katrina Gorry, cricketer Freddy Flintoff and cyclist Davide Cimolai are just a few high-profile athletes who have spoken publicly about their experiences.

In fact, disordered thoughts can affect athletes at any stage of their careers. Today, even after competing internationally in American football and Australian rules football, I still live with disordered thinking around food and body image.

Elite female athletes can be particularly vulnerable. According to the 2023 female athlete health report, 74% of respondents said they didn’t feel like they looked like an athlete and 91% worried about their calorie intake.

The 2024 BBC study on elite British sportswomen found similar results, reflecting the persistent pressure to conform to narrow body ideals.




Read more:
Elite female athletes at greater risk of eating disorders


There have been some encouraging policy changes. In MMA, emergency rules now ban extreme weight-cutting methods like IV rehydration, where fluids and electrolytes are administered directly into a vein, bypassing the digestive system. British Gymnastics, the body governing competitive gymnastics in the UK, has banned coaches from weighing athletes – a major move given the sport’s documented issues.

However, these steps are just the beginning. Power imbalances still exist across many sports, where coaches wield enormous influence over an athlete’s health, body and sense of self.

Coaches can either be a force for recovery – or part of the problem. They must be better trained to spot early signs of disordered behaviour, provide support and promote a culture that values mental wellbeing over appearance.

To create safer sporting environments, we need better signposting for athletes on how to get help, education for coaches and staff on eating disorder awareness, a cultural shift from bodily perfection and towards sustainable performance and health and athlete-first policies that protect both physical and mental wellbeing.

Recovery is possible. But prevention – through awareness, education and empathy – can save lives long before treatment is ever needed.

Sport should be a place for strength, growth and resilience – not hidden harm.

If anything in this article causes distress or concern about eating disorders, visit the BEAT website for more information and support.

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#diastasisrecti

Boissonnault JS, Blaschak MJ. Incidence of diastasis recti abdominis during the childbearing year. Phys Ther. 1988;68(7):1082–6. Article  CAS  PubMed  Google Scholar  Mota P, Pascoal AG, Bo K. Diastasis recti abdominis in pregnancy and postpartum period. Risk factors, functional implications and resolution. Curr Womens Health Rev. 2015;11(1):59–67. Article  Google Scholar  Cardaillac C, Vieillefosse S, Oppenheimer A, […]

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    Naomi Osaka tired of way media portrays her

    Coming off her third-round defeat at Wimbledon, Naomi Osaka didn’t have a lot of good things to say about her performance. The four-time grand slam champion often bears her emotions for all to see and today was no different after going down July 4 to Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova  3-6 6-4 6-4. “I’m just going to be […]

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    Naomi Osaka tired of way media portrays her

    Coming off her third-round defeat at Wimbledon, Naomi Osaka didn’t have a lot of good things to say about her performance.

    The four-time grand slam champion often bears her emotions for all to see and today was no different after going down July 4 to Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova  3-6 6-4 6-4.

    “I’m just going to be a negative human being today. I’m so sorry. I have nothing positive to say about myself, which is something I’m working on,” she said according to the BBC.

    Naomi said she’s trying to work on her outlook but admits it’s a struggle. She hasn’t gotten past the third round of a major tournament since winning the Australian Open in 2021.

    However, Osaka cautioned against portraying her as always sad as she accused the media of doing.

    “Bro why is it every time I do a press conference after a loss the ESPNs and blogs gotta clip it and put it up. Wtf, why don’t they clip my press conferences after I win? Like why push the narrative that I’m always sad?

    “Sure I was disappointed a couple hours ago, now I’m motivated to do better. That’s human emotions. The way they clip me I feel like I should be fake happy all the time,” she said, reported Tennis Infinity.

    Sports Illustrated pointed out she isn’t the only tennis player to express negative thoughts after a loss. Coco Gauf, was hard on herself after being bounced from the first round at Wimbledon, Jack Draper nearly came to tears and Alexander Zverev said he felt alone and struggles mentally following his first-round loss.

    Osaka hopes to regroup as she heads into the North American leg of the hard court season.

    We did it! Thank you for all those who contributed to our June fundraising campaign. We doubled the amount of money raised during the previous year. This money will be used to fund our reporting efforts.

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    Integrating Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with Psychological Skills Training (PST)

    ORIGINAL RESEARCH article Front. Psychol. Sec. Sport Psychology Volume 16 – 2025 | doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2025.1617548 This article is part of the Research TopicMental Health in Recreational and Elite SportsView all 22 articles Provisionally accepted Manchester Metropolitan University, Manchester, United Kingdom The final, formatted version of the article will be published soon. Notify me You have […]

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    Integrating Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with Psychological Skills Training (PST)

    ORIGINAL RESEARCH article

    Front. Psychol.

    Sec. Sport Psychology

    Volume 16 – 2025 | doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2025.1617548

    This article is part of the Research TopicMental Health in Recreational and Elite SportsView all 22 articles

    Provisionally accepted

    • Manchester Metropolitan University, Manchester, United Kingdom

    The final, formatted version of the article will be published soon.

    This case study outlines the sport psychology service delivery provided to an 11-year-old competitive figure skater. The client reported performance anxiety, which hindered her training and performance at competition. The intervention delivered integrated core processes of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with psychological skills training (PST) with the aim of reducing the client’s performance anxiety. Little has been written about how ACT can be applied alongside PST. The case reports how ACT exercises aimed at defusing the client’s unhelpful cognitions, focusing on valued living, committed action, and staying in the present moment were integrated into goal setting, imagery, performance profiling, and self-talk. Demonstrating the alignment between ACT and PST is crucial for practitioners to seamlessly integrate ACT into their practice. Reflections from the client and practitioner capture the evaluation of the service delivery.

    Keywords: cbt, MST, performance, sport psychology, Psychotherapy, Youth

    Received: 24 Apr 2025; Accepted: 04 Jul 2025.

    Copyright: © 2025 Wood and Turner. This is an open-access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License (CC BY). The use, distribution or reproduction in other forums is permitted, provided the original author(s) or licensor are credited and that the original publication in this journal is cited, in accordance with accepted academic practice. No use, distribution or reproduction is permitted which does not comply with these terms.

    * Correspondence: Samuel Wood, Manchester Metropolitan University, Manchester, United Kingdom

    Disclaimer: All claims expressed in this article are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of their affiliated organizations, or those of the publisher, the editors and the reviewers. Any product that may be evaluated in this article or claim that may be made by its manufacturer is not guaranteed or endorsed by the publisher.

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    Gambling investigation of Guardians' Luis Ortiz the latest example of how betting is causing …

    CLEVELAND, Ohio — Guardians pitcher Luis Ortiz was placed on “non-disciplinary paid leave” on Thursday morning by Major League Baseball as it investigates gambling allegations. And while Ortiz’s case is still under investigation, it is the latest instance of what has become a worrying and increasing trend of pro sports athletes being investigated for gambling. […]

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    Gambling investigation of Guardians' Luis Ortiz the latest example of how betting is causing ...

    CLEVELAND, Ohio — Guardians pitcher Luis Ortiz was placed on “non-disciplinary paid leave” on Thursday morning by Major League Baseball as it investigates gambling allegations.

    And while Ortiz’s case is still under investigation, it is the latest instance of what has become a worrying and increasing trend of pro sports athletes being investigated for gambling.

    Sports gambling has become much more part of the mainstream after the Supreme Court in 2018 struck down a federal law prohibiting sports gambling, putting it into the hands of the states.

    Most leagues don’t allow players to bet on games in their own leagues, and it’s easy to understand why.

    Leagues don’t want the integrity of their games compromised by their athletes betting on their own games, even ones they don’t play in. Players can have inside information that could influence betting lines.

    If an athlete bets on games he’s involved in, it could harm integrity more if he tries to influence certain outcomes or stats within the game.

    One of the most specific elements of sports betting that comes under this scrutiny is prop betting. A prop bet is simply a bet placed on an outcome within a game such as a certain number of points a basketball player scores or whether a baseball player gets one or more hits in a game.

    Possibly the most significant example of a pro athlete being connected to prop betting was former Toronto Raptors forward Jontay Porter. He was banned from the NBA in 2024 for breaking numerous league rules about gambling.

    Not only did he himself bet on at least 13 games when he was either with the Raptors or their developmental league affiliate, but he was also found to have intentionally taken himself out of at least one game to influence a betting outcome.

    The NBA also found that Porter provided confidential health information about himself prior to a game on March 20, 2024. The league then found a bet of $80,000 placed on Porter to underperform in that game. He played just three minutes in that game. But the bet was frozen because of the unusual activity.

    In the case of Ortiz, ESPN’s Jeff Passan reported on Thursday that there were two particular pitches that flagged bets in three states including Ohio. First pitches can be bet on, which are called microbets.

    Gambling and betting in pro sports hasn’t been limited to the last seven years. The two most significant instances of pro athletes being busted for illegal gambling activities came from MLB when the 1919 Chicago White Sox threw the World Series and Reds great Pete Rose was confirmed to have bet on games he played in. The MLB issued lifetime bans to eight members of the 1919 White Sox, including Shoeless Joe Jackson, and to Rose in 1989, although both Rose and Jackson were among those reinstated in May of 2025.

    With gambling being more mainstream, there have been plenty of instances in the past few years of athletes being investigated and disciplined.

    NBA

    In addition to being banned for life from the NBA, Porter pled guilty to conspiracy to commit wire fraud in federal court in July 2024 and awaits sentencing, which has been pushed back until Dec. 10.

    Porter’s case is the most egregious in recent years. But he’s not the only NBA player who has had gambling accusations.

    Pistons guard Malik Beasley is currently under federal investigation on allegations related to betting on NBA games and prop bets.

    NFL

    NFL receiver Calvin Ridley was suspended for the 2022 season for betting on games when he was on mental health leave the year prior.

    In 2023, five NFL players including Lions wide receiver Jameson Williams were suspended for violating the league’s gambling protocols. Three received indefinite bans for betting on NFL games while two, including Williams, were suspended for six for mobile betting at the Lions’ team facility, which violates league rules.

    NHL

    In the NHL, Ottawa Senators center Shane Pinto received a 41-game suspension in 2023 for gambling violations, although the NHL did not find evidence of Pinto betting on NHL games.

    MLB

    On June 4, 2024, MLB issued a lifetime ban, the first since Rose in 1989, to former Pirates and Padres infielder Tucupita Marcano after he was determined to have placed nearly 400 baseball bets in a two-year span, including 25 on Pirates games in which he was on the roster. He was the first active player to receive a lifetime ban from MLB since Jimmy O’Connell in 1924.

    So while Ortiz’s saga is only in its beginning stages, he is the latest example of athletes in professional sports being investigated for betting while playing. However, trends suggest he might not be the last.

    In February 2025, the International Betting Integrity Association, which is a non-profit organization with a goal to protect betting integrity, released a report saying that it had received 219 alerts of suspicious betting, an increase of 17% from the year prior. 10 of those alerts came from the U.S., with five involving basketball and five for tennis.

    Some states have tried to limit this trend by going after prop betting, particularly outside the pro game.

    In 2024, the Ohio Casino Control Commission banned prop bets on college athletics in the state. Many other states including Arizona, Florida, Louisiana and Massachusetts also don’t allow prop bets for in-state college athletics.

    Other states like Illinois, New York and Virginia have gone a step further and won’t allow any bets involving in-state schools.

    NCAA president Charlie Baker spoke at a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing in December 2024 and said he wants prop bets banned in all college sports across the country.

    “We believe that when bettors can’t gamble on college athletes’ individual performances, they’re far less likely to attempt to scrutinize, coerce or harass student-athletes,” Baker told the committee per NPR’s Becky Sullivan. “They get demands for money from unhappy bettors for trivial things that don’t impact the result on the field.

    “Many have received death threats from bettors, and they also receive other, in-person threats and accusations directed at them while they’re leaving or coming onto the field of play.”

    With the growth of sports betting, the problem of pro athletes being investigated for gambling is not likely to go away. Ortiz wasn’t the first athlete to be investigated for gambling and he most likely won’t be the last.

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    Keeping Baseball Players' Minds In Shape; Battle Over Bacon

    Summer is the heart of the baseball season. But recently the country’s oldest professional sport has been going through some changes. It’s not just the moves to speed up the pace of play. These days, along with training in the weight room or the bullpen, players are also spending time with their team’s sports psychologist. […]

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    Keeping Baseball Players' Minds In Shape; Battle Over Bacon

    Summer is the heart of the baseball season. But recently the country’s oldest professional sport has been going through some changes. It’s not just the moves to speed up the pace of play. These days, along with training in the weight room or the bullpen, players are also spending time with their team’s sports psychologist. KQED’s health correspondent April Dembosky goes behind the scenes at the San Francisco Giants’ ballpark to understand how the team keeps an athlete’s mind in shape, both on and off the field.  

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    How volleyball helped UC Irvine's Ofure Iselen step into her confidence

    Story Links (This story was originally published on ucirvinesports.com) Journeys. Whether it be starting school or a new hobby, everyone in life goes through them – and the ups and downs that come along the way.  The thing about journeys is they feel long while they’re happening but when you look back, it really went by […]

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    How volleyball helped UC Irvine's Ofure Iselen step into her confidence

    (This story was originally published on ucirvinesports.com)

    Journeys. Whether it be starting school or a new hobby, everyone in life goes through them – and the ups and downs that come along the way. 

    The thing about journeys is they feel long while they’re happening but when you look back, it really went by in a flash. Only when you take a step back and look at your journey can you see the highs and lows and realize how it was all worth it. This is how senior Ofure Iselen would describe her time at UC Irvine as a member of the women’s volleyball team: a journey.

    “I would describe it as a journey. I know it’s cliche, but it flew by so fast. I can’t even wrap my head around that it’s done. I would just describe it as a roller coaster. There were the highest of highs and there were the lowest of the lows.”

    Iselen’s volleyball career had an unexpected starting point. As her mom wanted her and her siblings to stay active, she was involved with multiple sports growing up. However, it was actually her friend who convinced her to try out for a volleyball team.

    “Once I got to middle school, I made my friend try out for the basketball team and then she made me try out for the volleyball team. So, I was just playing middle school volleyball, nothing serious. Then once I got to high school, my mom was like, okay, you have to pick one to really get serious about.”

    Since the volleyball season started in the fall before basketball, Iselen’s high school athletic career began with spikes instead of layups, and the rest is history. She made varsity her freshman year and enjoyed the experience. She had found her sport of choice.

    Having only started playing competitive volleyball her freshman year of high school, Iselen had some catching up to do, but that didn’t stop others from recognizing her potential. During her high school season, a club director approached her and asked about joining their club volleyball team. Iselen was immediately interested as it would help her grow and they saw potential in her ability to play at the collegiate level. 

    Iselen put in the work and eventually schools started calling. When it came time to commit, UC Irvine felt like the right fit.

    “I had heard of UC Irvine. Some of my friends’ older siblings went there so I was familiar with the school. It was really pretty, and it was not too far from home (the Bay Area). Also, UCI is a really well-known school and that degree holds a lot of weight, so I felt I was getting the best of both worlds. I would get to live out my dreams of playing Division I volleyball while also getting a degree that could push me further after I’m done with volleyball.”

    Her freshman season was all about learning and adjusting to the college life. At the advice of her coaches, and coming off an early injury, she focused her efforts in the weight room and learning the ins-and-outs of being a Division I student-athlete.

    “My freshman year, I didn’t have many expectations. Coach Ashlie (Hain) told me when I first came in to get serious in that weight room because it would help me a ton. I took that to heart, and I made sure that the weight room was my best friend. Being in the weight room seriously and trying to find that [improvement], and then senior year breaking into that starting lineup was huge for me. It felt like my whole journey kind of meant something and all my hard work didn’t go to waste. I was happy the way we ended, and I couldn’t have asked for a better senior season.”

    Ofure Iselen Spike

    Iselen bided her time and put in the work to continually improve. She played sparingly her first two seasons with her playing time increasing her junior year, but it wasn’t until her senior season when she earned the opportunity to be in the starting lineup. That doesn’t mean there weren’t still a few bumps along the way in her journey. While she began the season in the starting lineup, by the end of the second preseason tournament, Iselen found herself back on the bench. It was a mental battle as this was her senior year and there was no next season.

    “It was probably the biggest challenge mentally and emotionally that I had to face because before it was always like you have next year to try again or get better, but getting benched during preseason of my senior year, I was like there is no next year, right? It was more of a mental challenge than it was a physical challenge because I felt like I was there physically, but mentally I couldn’t perform. I’ve never had to deal with my mental health throughout sports. I was always a pretty positive person. So, when my mental wasn’t there, it’s like, how do you get back to believing in yourself? How do you get back to who you are as a person and as a player?”

    Still, Iselen persevered and found her way back into the lineup during the beginning of conference play. From there, she continued to play well, helping lead the Anteaters to a winning record, the program’s first season sweep of Hawai’i and an appearance in the Big West Championships. She ended her senior season ranked first in the Big West in blocks per set (1.24), while averaging 1.21 kills per set and making the Big West Fall All-Academic team. 

    Iselen looks back on her career fondly and will always cherish the people she met and memories she made with UCI volleyball.

    “I’ve met so many amazing people at UCI that I know I’m going to have in my life forever. I never understood when people said that when they come to college, they find their forever people, but I truly did. I’m so appreciative for this school. When I was a kid out of high school, Coach Ashlie took a chance on me because I had only been playing for a few years and I’m so grateful that I was given the opportunity to showcase who I am, not just as an athlete, but as a person too.”

    Off the court, Iselen spent a large amount of time with the Student-Athlete Advisory Committee (SAAC) and helped found the Black Student Athlete Alliance (BSAA) at UCI. With her involvement in these organizations and her experience as a student-athlete, a new position opened up that allowed Iselen to remain with UCI Athletics. 

    After graduating earlier this year with a degree in Political Science (she will walk this weekend), Iselen has served as the Student Athlete Development Coordinator the past two quarters. Her experience and relationships she built at UCI has helped her understand the needs of student-athletes and to plan events and workshops that cater to their interests.

    “I work a lot with career development. Having former collegiate athletes come back, from all different sports and schools, and just kind of talk to our student athletes about life after sport and helping them with that transition.

    “I feel like I have a unique experience because I’m still in it. A lot of my friends are still student-athletes. I just take their feedback of the things that they feel we’re lacking, and I have the ability to bring those things to life.”

    After graduation, Iselen plans to take a gap year and then pursue her MBA. Her plan to become a marketing executive hasn’t changed.

    “Coming back from the Black Student Athlete Summit (in 2023), and talking to different marketing executives there made me realize that is what I want to do, so I’ve just been growing in that area too.”

    Iselen’s time at UCI wasn’t necessarily a typical one, coming in after COVID, getting a late start in the sport to becoming a key starter as a senior, to continuing to assist student-athletes after her athletic career ended, she always sees the growth in her opportunities and her work. While her journey at UC Irvine has come to a close, her next journey is just getting started. Iselen has no regrets and will forever cherish being an Anteater.

    “Just going through this journey – this was such a unique experience that I was gracious to have. Going on the journey alongside people you build a bond with can’t be replaced, they’ve seen you when you were at your lowest and they were the ones that picked you up and carried you through. This is something that you definitely can’t do alone. Finding that community and finding those people who I was able to lean on when I needed to, and then, when it was their turn, for me to be there for them. You create that bond that just lasts for a long time, and I feel like that’s the thing that I probably take away the most is those relationships. I’ve definitely grown and changed a lot since my freshman year. Looking back and seeing videos of myself from four years ago, I’m like, wow, this person has come a long way.”

    Ofure Iselen Celebrate

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