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Life as a high school coach: Demanding parents, stressed-out students

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They’re at Bishop Feehan in Attleboro to begin their MIAA certification with the Schmidt-led four-hour “Fundamentals of Coaching.”

By the time class is dismissed, the coaches will be fully aware of what amounts to a state of crisis in their profession.

It’s not the lousy pay, long hours, and myriad logistical issues that are anything new.

It’s this cultural moment, a time when winning has never been more highly prized and the $30 billion business of youth sports, combined with NIL compensation, has never been more transactional.

Raising the degree of difficulty is trying to reach the adolescent brains of a post-COVID student-athlete population that is more stressed, vulnerable, and locked in on social media than ever.

But above all else, it’s the increasingly demanding parents concerned with their child’s playing time or the team’s success that successful longtime coaches agree are the toughest of all the challenges.

Trevor Gagnier, girls’ basketball coach at Apponequet the last 15 years, has learned to lay out the program’s foundation and expectations to parents and players before the season begins.

“If you don’t do that early, that’s how you get screwed,” said Gagnier. “And if someone’s telling you, ‘No, everything’s been perfect for the last 15 years,’ well, tell me where he or she’s coaching, because that doesn’t usually happen.”

Steve Dembowski has been coaching football for 32 years ― at Milton since 2015, and at Swampscott for more than 20 years prior.

When he became a parent of a student-athlete, he realized he needed to engage with parents if he wanted them to be allies rather than foes.

“Something that’s really changed, which I think haunts a lot of coaches, is that communication with athletes and their parents is even more important than ever and a lot of coaches still want to be old school ― ‘I’m not gonna talk about the team or your kid,’ ” said Dembowski. “That’s a mistake now, when you need to be open and honest with families.”

When Milton football coach Steve Dembowski became a parent of a student-athlete, he realized he needed to engage with parents if he wanted them to be allies rather than foes.Barry Chin/Globe Staff

To be demanding and not demeaning with student-athletes while keeping a team striving for excellence is the standard practice for current coaches.

Adding what it takes to corral parents into a positive force and still maintain the passion is beyond exhausting for some.

“I’m an executive leadership coach, right, but some days I feel like a therapist because of the adult coaches that break down on calls with me because of the stress, the pressure, and the embarrassment of some of these situations that come up within the job,” said J.P. Nerbun, a former youth, high school, college, and semi-pro basketball coach who founded TOC Culture Consulting and is the author of “The Coach’s Guide to Sports Parents.”

Nerbun steers some of the coaches to therapy.

He asks all of them to remember why they’re there in the first place.

“The greatest challenge for coaches is to continue to know themselves, to know why they coach, to make sure that they are actually doing the work to become and behave in a way that produces an impact and helps people grow,” he said.

That’s a far cry from the “my way or the highway” coaches who once ruled their roosts.

Those are being weeded out, along with the extreme examples of the bad-apple coaches who grab the wrong kind of headlines for crossing the line from tough to abusive coaching.

More than the X’s and O’s

When the new breed of “Ted Lasso”-like coaches understand their mission as well as the mind-sets of students and parents, the odds of a more positive and stable experience for all three legs of the youth sports stool should increase.

Being an expert on the next best thing in the X’s and O’s of their particular sport is almost an afterthought for coaches these days.

“Even though the game is changing, coaches need to also recognize what is acceptable and what actually works better with the way they’re interacting with their players,” said Jason Sacks, CEO of Positive Coaching Alliance, a national organization that trains and supports coaches. “Sometimes coaches don’t see that connection of, ‘Hey, you know what? Guess what? Kids are different now. And you know what I need to do? I need to evolve as a coach and be able to meet them where they’re at.’ ”

They’re at a place where athletes conditioned to the immediacy of social media want instant results, to know why they’re being coached a particular way, and where they’re not used to direct feedback and criticism.

“High school kids right now are under a tremendous amount of stress. Whether we think they’re ‘soft’ or not doesn’t matter,” said coaching development expert Karen Collins, a former collegiate field hockey and lacrosse athlete and coach and an associate professor at the University of New Hampshire. “If you can build honest and earnest relationships with athletes where you’re transparent and you back up what you say you’re going to do, then that has opened up the window for you to be a ‘tough coach,’ and that’s OK.”

She pointed out that parents want what’s best for their kids. Most do all they can to support their child’s team and coach. It’s a small minority who lose perspective.

When they act out in the belief, for example, that their child needs more playing time, their behavior has an outsized impact on coaches.

National data on retention of school coaches is scarce, but if perception and anecdotes add up to reality, then there aren’t enough of them. Schmidt said flatly, “There is a shortage of highly qualified candidates,” and said lately his applicant pool is “less of the Pacific Ocean, more of the kiddie pool.”

National surveys by the Aspen Institute, of coaches in 2022 and parents of student-athletes in 2024, found that 80 percent of both groups believed there was a shortage of high-caliber coaches.

The percentage of coaches age 55 and older has grown over the last few years, which points to younger coaches leaving the profession.

Nipmuc AD Chris Schmidt said, “There there is a shortage of highly qualified [coaching] candidates,” and added lately his applicant pool is “less of the Pacific Ocean, more of the kiddie pool.”Jonathan Wiggs/Globe Staff

And while 80 percent of the coaches surveyed reported feeling satisfied, the percentage was nearly matched by moderately, very, and extremely stressful experiences. As an academic paper published in “Strategies: A Journal for Physical and Sport Educators” pointed out last July, the coaches survey pointed to parents as “key contributors” to that stress. Seventeen percent of school coaches reported that parents often or always criticize their performance, with barely more than half the coaches hearing appreciation.

“We hear about the problem parents all the time and so we exacerbate the problem, but it’s those problems that are running coaches out of the profession, there’s no doubt,” said Collins. “I think if we took a step back and thought about, why are the parents so angry? It’s because it’s this same transactional thing ― they’re worried about the potential for their child.”

‘It’s hard enough to find coaches’

Tim Brillo is in his 15th year as AD at Ludlow and was a longtime coach of the girls’ basketball team.

Like Schmidt, he’s one of the 20-plus certified instructors of the MIAA coaches certification clinic, which began in 1998 and is held 20 to 30 times throughout the year. Coaches hired prior to Aug. 1, 1998, do not have to take the course, and all first serving as a coach after July 1, 2005, must complete it, along with an approved first-aid course.

“In my conversations, coaches were run out by a group of parents simply because their kid wasn’t getting playing time, and recently it was, ‘We need to change the coach because it’s the coach’s fault,’ ” said Brillo. “It’s hard enough to find coaches. Then, when you finally do find somebody that’s willing to do it, there’s these outside pressures and expectations on you from parents.”

Mastering that coach-athlete-parent triangle takes up most of the morning in Attleboro.

There’s also a section devoted to a long list of managerial concerns, such as an emergency care plan, field and dugout conditions, strength and conditioning, rules and regulations, and legal liability.

One breakout group delves into, “Why did you get into coaching?”

Responses ranged from wanting to influence kids in a positive direction, love of the game, and those impacted by wonderful or awful coaches.

“Anyone talk about winning?” Schmidt asked.

No hands.

“Of course we want to be successful, that’s OK, but is that your focus? If your answer is yes, that’s a problem,” said Schmidt.

When the class ended, Corey Flynn, Winchester’s assistant ultimate Frisbee coach, said he thought the course hit all the right notes.

Flynn hadn’t always appreciated the magnitude of a coach’s job.

“We have about 60 players who are attached to like 100-plus family members, and then with various school administrators involved, you rapidly become the center of about 200 people that have very direct contact with you on a regular basis,” said Flynn. “That’s probably the thing that I was shocked by. I was like, ‘Oh, this will be great. I’m going to show up, I’m going to coach kids,’ and I didn’t understand it’s going to be a much bigger responsibility than that.”

The responsibilities can feel daunting, said Flynn.

Luckily, he has a solid foundation in order to not be overwhelmed.

“Most coaches are lying if they don’t have days like, ‘This train has left the station and I’m on it and I can’t get off,’ but the good news is that generally kids are awesome,” he said. “You do it because it fulfills you and it helps amplify other people and all that stuff. That’s so worth it.

“And most days you feel that side of it.”

Share your thoughts on the state of high school coaching in the comments.


Michael Silverman can be reached at michael.silverman@globe.com.





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Washington State PAC Pushes for Trans Sports Ban With Genital Inspections

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Sign up for The Agenda, Them’s news and politics newsletter, delivered Thursdays.

A far-right political action committee claims to have collected enough signatures to put a school-specific transgender sports ban involving genital inspections onto the Washington state ballot.

On January 3, the right-wing group Let’s Go Washington announced that it had collected 445,187 signatures in support of IL26-638, an initiative seeking to amend Washington law and school district policies in order to bar trans girls from competing in girls’ sports. The Washington Interscholastic Activities Association currently permits trans students to play sports that align with their gender identity.

Should IL26-638 go into effect, student athletes hoping to compete in girls’ sports would be required to medically verify their sex assigned at birth based on “the student’s reproductive anatomy, genetic makeup, or normal endogenously produced testosterone levels.” In other words, to play girls’ sports, student athletes, many of whom are minors, could be subjected to blood tests or invasive genital exams.

As journalist Erin Reed notes in her newsletter Erin in the Morning, if Let’s Go Washington’s signatures are certified, Washington state legislators can either pass the initiative as written, reject it, or propose an alternative. If they reject the initiative, it will appear on the state ballot during the 2026 midterms on November 3. If they propose an alternative, then both IL26-638 and the alternative will appear on the Washington state ballot.

Even if the initiative passed, it could still face significant challenges at the state level. Washington’s state anti-discrimination law, the Washington Law Against Discrimination (WLAD), explicitly prohibits discrimination on the basis of “gender expression or identity.”

Outside of IL26-638, Let’s Go Washington also claimed to have gathered enough signatures for another initiative, IL26-001, which would force school personnel to out trans public school students in Washington state. As Reed points out, although a version of this bill previously made it onto the state ballot and was passed by the Washington State Legislature, its language was ultimately watered down so as to not mandate the outing of trans students.

Washington is far from the first state in which right-wing figures have attempted to introduce sex testing measures. Last February, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton asked a state district court to issue a temporary injunction requiring the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) to conduct sex screenings on athletes competing in women’s sports, despite the NCAA already banning trans women from participating.

On the national level, more sweeping trans sports bans have faltered, in part because of the invasive sex testing that they could have necessitated. In March 2025, Senate Democrats unanimously blocked the “Protection of Women and Girls in Sports Act,” which would’ve banned federally funded schools from allowing trans athletes to compete in women’s sports. As the Congressional Equality Caucus noted at the time, the bill could’ve pushed “any student to answer invasive personal questions about their bodies & face humiliating physical inspections to ‘prove’ that they’re a girl.”

A 2020 Human Rights Watch report on sex testing in international sports concluded that such tests “violate fundamental rights to privacy and dignity.” The report found that sports governing bodies that implement sex testing create “environments that coerce some women into invasive and unnecessary medical interventions as a condition to compete in certain events.”

IL26-638’s emphasis on athletes medically verifying their “endogenously produced testosterone levels” could also perpetuate a larger racist trend of cisgender Black female athletes being targeted and even disqualified from sporting events due to not meeting arbitrary hormone requirements. In 2020, for example, World Athletics banned South African track gold medalist Caster Semenya from competing in the 800-meter race because her natural testosterone levels exceeded the maximum level allowed for that distance.

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New Floral Shop Aspen and Willow Brings Vibrant Arrangements to Green River

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New Floral Shop Aspen and Willow Brings Vibrant Arrangements to Green River





Tracy Hafner, Owner of Aspen & Willow.

GREEN RIVER — Save The Date Floral has spread its roots to Green River with the opening of Aspen and Willow Floral Studio, a full-service flower shop that has fresh floral arrangements and a personal story of love and loss.

Owner Tracy Hafner, who opened Aspen and Willow in late 2025, is no stranger to small business ownership. She also operates Save The Date Floral in Rock Springs, which offers similar products and services. Although the two shops are separate businesses with different websites, Hafner refers to them as sister stores that share a commitment to quality and community.

With 35 years of experience in the floral industry, Hafner opened Aspen and Willow after receiving requests from Green River residents for another local flower shop. The business, located in the former Rose Floral building, has already garnered positive feedback from the community.

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“We’ve had very good responses on our Facebook posts, and many Green River residents are excited to have us here,” Hafner said. “The support has been overwhelming.”

Hafner is also dedicated to giving back to the community. She supports local youth sports leagues, including hockey, baseball, and softball, as well as other small businesses.

“We want to be good stewards of the community,” Hafner said.

As Aspen and Willow continues to grow, Hafner plans to expand services, including floral arranging classes for residents interested in learning the art of flower design. She also hopes to hire additional staff to assist with operations.

The name Aspen and Willow is a tribute to Hafner’s late husband, who passed away in April 2024. The name honors their childhood memories of playing in aspen trees and willows, serving as a lasting homage to her husband’s memory.

Aspen and Willow is located at 2 East Flaming Gorge Way in Green River. The shop is open Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.





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Grand Forks County Commission discuss new position and funding sources for Youth Assessment Center – Grand Forks Herald

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GRAND FORKS – Grand Forks County commissioners on Tuesday approved a new position for the Regional Youth Assessment Center, though the topic prompted discussion on whether other entities that utilize the YAC should contribute funds to the facility.

The additional full-time staff position at the YAC was included as part of the county’s 2026 budget to address the state’s desire for more full-time positions at the facility. The vote on Monday was to approve an employee status form related to the position.

Commissioner Terry Bjerke expressed concern over approving the position, however, largely because of the already high expenditures from the department compared to its revenue. He said expenses are approximately $2 million, while revenue is a little over $600,000. He added he would prefer if some of the cost of the position was covered by YAC partners, like the state.

“As far as I’m concerned, if they want to hire another person there to take care of all this, I’m more than willing to take the check from the state to pay for it,” he said. “I don’t think it should come from the county taxpayers.”

The documents included in the meeting’s agenda do not include a salary for the added YAC position.

Commissioner Cynthia Pic pointed out it would be difficult for the commission to deny the employee status form because the position was already approved in the 2026 budget.

“A majority of the adolescents that are served in our Youth Assessment Center are citizens from Grand Forks County,” she said.

County Administrator Tom Ford said Robin Spain, YAC administrator, has already hired someone to fill the new position.

The vote to approve the status change passed 4-1, with Bjerke dissenting. Other commissioners said they were open to discussing possible negotiations for more funding from the state or other YAC partners.

In related business, Director of Facilities Bill Gerszewski and Sheriff Andy Schneider shared the status of the new sheriff’s office building, including some repair items that still need to be completed by the building contractor, Heartland Acres Development.

“Some of them have been met, Of 19 items that I had, we are solid with six completed,” Gerszewski said.

Most of the fixes, Gerszewski and Schneider said, that still need to be done are for bigger or more difficult problems, like a roof leak. Schneider added the contractor has been keeping up with more regular maintenance.

Schneider also said he is unsure if the sheriff’s office was able to make requests for maintenance on certain issues because the county is only leasing the building right now.

“We can make a request for certain things to be changed, but if they weren’t part of a (request for proposal) or if they’re not really impacting overall business, can we really request that at this time?” he said.

Bjerke suggested discussing how long the county plans to lease the building with Heartland Acres, saying leasing it for longer than necessary was “money going down the drain.” According to the lease agreement, rent on the building is $519,000 a year with an additional cost of $12,000 a year for maintenance.

The lease also includes an option for purchasing the building as soon as five years after it went into effect, though Schneider said he would like his department to spend more time in the building,

which it moved into in June,

before considering an eventual purchase.

“I’d like to at least see two years out of the place before we’re talking about buying it,” he said. “That’s just me personally.”

In other news, the commission:

  • Approved designating State’s Attorney Haley Wamstad as parliamentarian and adopting Roberts Rules of Order.
  • Approved designating Alerus Bank, Choice Bank and Old National Bank as depositories.
  • Heard from Grand Forks County Water Resource District Chairman Bob Drees about the usage of the county’s public campgrounds in 2025. He said there are plans to raise camping fees for 2026 to help offset operating expenses.
  • Approved reappointing Kayla Hochstetler and JoNell Bakke to the Grand Forks Human Service Zone Board.
  • Approved reappointing Sam Landman to the Grand Forks County Weed Board.
  • Approved awarding a $272,445 contract to High Point Networks to perform network equipment upgrades throughout county buildings. The project is being funded with a $386,000 cybersecurity grant.
  • Denied approving Juneteenth, Indigenous Peoples’ Day and Dec. 26 as paid holidays for county staff. The agenda item was introduced by Pic. The vote failed 1-4, with Bjerke, Mark Rustad, Bob Rost and Kimberly Hagen dissenting.
  • Approved a supplementary agreement for the Grand Forks County Sheriff’s Office’s lease with Heartland Acres Development for the correctional center. The agreement reflects that the county paid off the remaining balance for accessories to the building, like fencing.
  • Received correspondence from the Eagles 4-H Club thanking the commission for sponsoring the club’s 4-H awards.
  • Received correspondence from Houston Engineering Inc. about a proposed roadway improvement project at the intersection of U.S. Highway 2 and North Columbia Road. The project is being done between the city of Grand Forks, the North Dakota Department of Transportation and the Federal Highway Administration. The engineering firm requested comments from the county on the project in case it would affect any properties or proposed developments from the county.





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CK wins thriller in consolation championship | Sports

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Playing in the consolation championship at the 17th Annual Tom Kleist Fourth-Grade Christmas Tournament on Dec. 28, Christ the King-White (CK) defeated Southwest 14-12 in a thriller. The CK roster includes Arlo Borjas (5 rebounds, 2 steals), Ryan Shields (steal), Liam Alvarado, Lucas Rodenberg (4 points, 10 rebounds, steal), Christopher Jensen, Teddy McClelland (10 points, 3 steals, 2 rebounds, 2 blocks), Leo Antonelli (4 rebounds), Brian Cook, Henry Jurewitch (steal) and Jack Gallagher (2 rebounds, steal) and Coaches Jack Danaher and Buzz McClelland. The Southwest roster includes Liam Kilstrom (2 points, steal), Grayson Daly, Wally Doran (2 points, steal), Noah Beninato (2 rebounds), Sammy Wrenn (steal), Kenny Roe (7 rebounds), Sam Colomb (3 points, 2 rebounds, 2 steals, block), Hayden Bixler, Emmett Avros (2 rebounds, steal) and Bobby Goyke (5 points, 3 rebounds, 3 steals) and Coaches Nick Roe, Adam Goyke and Dan Colomb. (Review photo)



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Joe Perry Little, Jr. Obituary

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Joe Perry Little, Jr., age 85, of Knoxville, Tennessee, passed away peacefully on January 2, 2026. He was born in Lawrenceburg, Tennessee, and grew up in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, and Sparta, Tennessee. He was an Eagle Scout, competed in 4-H and Future Farmers of America programs, was selected to the Tennessee American Legion Boys State, and served as a page in Washington, D.C., for Congressman Joe L. Evins.

Joe earned his bachelor’s and master’s degrees in nuclear engineering from the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. He was a member of Tau Beta Pi Engineering Honor Society, Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity, and the engineering co-op program.

He began his career as a nuclear engineer with Dupont at the Savannah River Plant and subsequently spent the majority of his career as a nuclear engineer with TVA and thereafter with various contractors in Oak Ridge, Tennessee, including Lockheed Martin, Bechtel Jacobs, and Pro2Serve.

Joe was active in the Farragut community where for many years he coached his children’s youth sports with the Cedar Bluff Farragut Optimist Club, served on the Town of Farragut’s Municipal Planning Commission, served as an elder and Sunday School teacher at Farragut Church of Christ, and was most recently a member of the Hardin Valley Church of Christ.

Joe was a loving husband, father, and grandfather; he was considered a true gentleman by all who knew him. Most recently, he prioritized time with family including regularly attending his seven grandchildren’s many, varied activities.

Joe is preceded in death by his parents, Joe and Mary (England) Little. He is survived by his wife of 63 years, Becky (Ford) Little; his sister, Bettye Evans; children, Ford Little (Malinda), John Little (Jennifer), and Mary Helen Story; grandchildren, James Little (Georgia), Matthew Little (Audrey), John Grant Little (Anna), Carlen Little Sutcliffe (Langston), Rebecca Story, Sarah Frances Little, and Stacy Story; and great-grandchild, Chloe Little.

Honorary pallbearers include James Little, Matthew Little, John Grant Little, Stacy Story, Dick Anders, Jack Bender, Bob Boruff, Tommy Gordon, Eldredge Kennedy, Phil Manness, Bill McKissick, and Howard Rosser.

The family wishes to express their gratitude to the wonderful staff at NHC Farragut as well as caregivers, Cathy Van Winkle, Jenny Escobar, and Kara Hartmann.

The Little family will hold visitation at Hardin Valley Church of Christ, 11515 Hardin Valley Road, Knoxville, TN 37932 from 1:00 pm – 3:00 pm on Saturday, January 10, 2026, and a memorial service at 3:00 pm.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in memory of Joe Perry Little to the Trinity Health Foundation, 525 Portland St., Knoxville, TN 37919, or Hardin Valley Church of Christ, 11515 Hardin Valley Road, Knoxville, TN 37932. Online condolences may be made at www.rosefuneraltn.com

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Posted online on January 06, 2026

Published in Knoxville News Sentinel



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North Charleston plans youth development park with community partners

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NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. (WCSC) — North Charleston and surrounding communities will soon have a central hub for community connection and wellness focused on helping underserved youth in the area.

The Cal Ripken Sr. Foundation, The Sandlot Initiative and the City of North Charleston are partnering on the project, which has been in development for more than five years.

“We want to impact kids’ lives,” Andy Brusman, founder of The Sandlot Initiative, said.

Building connections through sports

Brusman said the initiative aims to connect communities through sports, where children focus on teamwork rather than differences.

“You have a black child that’s playing second base. You have a white child that’s playing shortstop. Neither one is looking at black and white. They’re looking at a double play partner,” Brusman said.

The hub will address what Brusman identified as a key issue for underserved youth: unstructured free time.

“It brings you discipline. From a young age, you’ve got to be able to learn how to manage your time, your schedule, and how it interacts with everything else that you’re doing,” he said.

Expanding beyond sports

While the center will start with sports programming, organizers plan to expand into mentoring, wellness and academics.

“If you can continue to build on that and add things, like getting them exposed to coding at Clemson, you’ve set that child up to understand what they can achieve going forward,” Brusman said.

The partners believe the hub will provide a safe space for children in the community.

“Soaking it all in, because at the end of the day, is the end goal here, is just give them that place to go, a safe place,” Brusman said.

The organization is currently fundraising to build two baseball and softball fields and a training facility.



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