It's been nearly a year since I called out a bunch of my idiot friends introduced you to 8 of the absolute worst people to make a tee time with. As oddly specific as these characters may have seemed, I'm confident that we've all dealt with these villainous beings at some point in our tee-time making lives. Now that it's starting to warm up in my neck of the woods, the Northeast, I've realized that the time to start dealing with all these knuckleheads again is fast-approaching. Perhaps some day I'll join a private club where I could simply roll up to course and play whenever I want, for however long I want and with whomever I want. Unfortunately, that day is not today. Another spring and summer of staying up until midnight to secure a time seven days from now and then subsequently having to get a group of imbeciles together awaits. Over the last 12 months, I've come across a number of new, equally-unsavory characters as the ones on my OG list that have left me no choice—to compile yet another list of folks who should be removed from your golf rotation, your phone contacts, and possibly your life entirely. Here are the next 6 WORST people to make a tee time with. The person who needs constant confirmation Much like Richard Lewis in that one episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm," this person just cannot fathom a group of guys/gals all sticking to an agreed-upon plan multiple days in advance. If the tee time is Saturday, this person is texting you on Tuesday, "are we still on for Saturday?" Then they are doing that again on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Hell, they might actually call you in the year 2025, an utterly terrifying prospect that might cause me to block your number. Of course, in fairness to Richard Lewis, Larry David ultimately lets him down by not showing up to lunch, proving that Lewis did, in fact, need constant confirmation of a plan. But soup and salad is a whole different ball game than a set tee time with four buddies at a golf course that everyone is looking forward to. Listen, constant confirmation guy, if anything should change in our plan between now and the tee time, I promise you will be the first to know. Person who, on the day of the tee time, asks "What course again?" I know we ALL have this friend. The person who can't seem to get anywhere or do anything without someone quite literally holding their hand and showing them the way. This person will text the ringleader, or the group chat, one-to-two hours before the tee time asking where the tee time is. Oftentimes, if it is in the group chat, there is a screenshot and/or a text message just a few word bubbles above you can scroll to and find the location of the course, what time the tee time is and how much it costs. But again, this person can't wipe their bum bum on their own, so how could they be expected to scroll up three whole messages? The person who is asking this is likely still in bed and has not even begun the process of getting ready to go play golf. What if I don't see the text for an hour? What if it's an hour drive for you and you didn't realize that until just now? Now you're definitely going to be late and the starter is going to take it out on me. You are like an anxiety-induced high school prom zit on the forehead of this golf rotation, and you must now be surgically removed. Good day, sir. Person who says "poooor you" that you have to make the tee time and wrangle the group together Getting very specific now, but this person 100 percent exists. You go through the trouble all season of getting foursomes together, securing tee times a week or weeks in advance, making sure everybody shows up, etc. Then one person pokes away. "Who is playing?", "Are we still on for Saturday?", "What course?", "We ALWAYS play there, can't we play somewhere else?" Like a freaking gnat. You finally snipe back at this clown, hey, pal, chief, why don't YOU make the tee time? And this selfish prick retorts with "ohhh, poooor you, it must be so hard to make a teeee timeeee." If it's so easy, WHY DO YOU NEVER DO IT!?!?!?? You make a tee time for Saturday five or six days in advance and Al Roker checks in—"hey guys, forecast not looking great for Saturday, think we should cancel?" Yeah man, those five-day out forecasts that are batting 1.000 lifetime should definitely run all of our lives. Surely, five days from now, the weather couldn't possibly change. You determined that all by yourself on the same Weather Channel app we all have? Save it, nerd. Do you know how many times I've simply showed up to the course despite a bad forecast, hoped for the best and it ends up not even raining a drop? A billion times. Those days are often the best rounds because you feel like you stole one from Mother Nature. Memories that last a lifetime. And so what if it does actually rain for a half hour or so? Take some shelter, have a beer and relax. We'll get back out there. Stop letting a week-in-advance "50 percent chance of showers" prognostication determine whether you are leaving your house for once or not. Person who has to leave after 9 holes / mid-round Truly nobody worse, especially because this person generally doesn't reveal this information until you are standing on the first tee box. Because they know if they mentioned it a few days before they'd probably get kicked out of the group because nobody wants somebody who is leaving at halftime of a lot of people's Super Bowl that is weekend golf. Oh, we were going to try to play a match for money, maybe some side action, but you have to leave after 9 so I guess we'll just whack it around for funsies. What a joke. Even worse is the person who doesn't mention they have to leave at all and then around the 14th fairway says "boys, I gotta get going." You came to a public course on Saturday, knowing you "had to get going" at a certain time, and thought this was going to be some sort of speed round where you'd 1.) be able to finish 18, and 2.) make it to whatever event you needed to make it to, at which point, upon your arrival, your spouse will probably still hate you for having a few hours of fun before said event. You're even dumber than I thought. And God help you if you think you're taking the cart back to the club house. Start hiking, brotha. And just know when you remove your cap and shake my hand on 14 green and say "let's do it again," in my head I'm saying "yes, let's, never." "Is the spot still open?" person I sort of covered this territory in Version 1.0 with "can't just say yes or no" person, but "is the spot still open?" person is a different beast. This person obviously couldn't commit originally, but kindly asks if they could be reconsidered at a later date should you still need to fill out the foursome. Honestly, that's fair. You didn't say yes and then bail, didn't show up and bail after 9 holes, and you didn't say the loathsome phrase "can I let you know later in the week?" No, you may not. But I will circle back like Jen Psaki if every other option falls through. Now, if that turns out to not be the case, I don't want to hear from you. I don't want the sad puppy dog eyes. "Is the spot still open?" No, it's not, and don't you dare make me feel bad about that or it will be closed to you forever.

The next 6 worst people to make a tee time with

Person who, on the day of the tee time, asks “What course again?” You make a tee time for Saturday five or six days in advance and Al Roker checks in—”hey guys, forecast not looking great for Saturday, think we should cancel?” Yeah man, those five-day out forecasts that are batting 1.000 lifetime should definitely […]

Person who, on the day of the tee time, asks “What course again?”

You make a tee time for Saturday five or six days in advance and Al Roker checks in—”hey guys, forecast not looking great for Saturday, think we should cancel?” Yeah man, those five-day out forecasts that are batting 1.000 lifetime should definitely run all of our lives. Surely, five days from now, the weather couldn’t possibly change. You determined that all by yourself on the same Weather Channel app we all have? Save it, nerd. Do you know how many times I’ve simply showed up to the course despite a bad forecast, hoped for the best and it ends up not even raining a drop? A billion times. Those days are often the best rounds because you feel like you stole one from Mother Nature. Memories that last a lifetime. And so what if it does actually rain for a half hour or so? Take some shelter, have a beer and relax. We’ll get back out there. Stop letting a week-in-advance “50 percent chance of showers” prognostication determine whether you are leaving your house for once or not.

Truly nobody worse, especially because this person generally doesn’t reveal this information until you are standing on the first tee box. Because they know if they mentioned it a few days before they’d probably get kicked out of the group because nobody wants somebody who is leaving at halftime of a lot of people’s Super Bowl that is weekend golf. Oh, we were going to try to play a match for money, maybe some side action, but you have to leave after 9 so I guess we’ll just whack it around for funsies. What a joke. Even worse is the person who doesn’t mention they have to leave at all and then around the 14th fairway says “boys, I gotta get going.” You came to a public course on Saturday, knowing you “had to get going” at a certain time, and thought this was going to be some sort of speed round where you’d 1.) be able to finish 18, and 2.) make it to whatever event you needed to make it to, at which point, upon your arrival, your spouse will probably still hate you for having a few hours of fun before said event. You’re even dumber than I thought. And God help you if you think you’re taking the cart back to the club house. Start hiking, brotha. And just know when you remove your cap and shake my hand on 14 green and say “let’s do it again,” in my head I’m saying “yes, let’s, never.”

I know we ALL have this friend. The person who can’t seem to get anywhere or do anything without someone quite literally holding their hand and showing them the way. This person will text the ringleader, or the group chat, one-to-two hours before the tee time asking where the tee time is. Oftentimes, if it is in the group chat, there is a screenshot and/or a text message just a few word bubbles above you can scroll to and find the location of the course, what time the tee time is and how much it costs. But again, this person can’t wipe their bum bum on their own, so how could they be expected to scroll up three whole messages? The person who is asking this is likely still in bed and has not even begun the process of getting ready to go play golf. What if I don’t see the text for an hour? What if it’s an hour drive for you and you didn’t realize that until just now? Now you’re definitely going to be late and the starter is going to take it out on me. You are like an anxiety-induced high school prom zit on the forehead of this golf rotation, and you must now be surgically removed. Good day, sir.

The person who needs constant confirmation

“Is the spot still open?” person

Now that it’s starting to warm up in my neck of the woods, the Northeast, I’ve realized that the time to start dealing with all these knuckleheads again is fast-approaching. Perhaps some day I’ll join a private club where I could simply roll up to course and play whenever I want, for however long I want and with whomever I want. Unfortunately, that day is not today. Another spring and summer of staying up until midnight to secure a time seven days from now and then subsequently having to get a group of imbeciles together awaits.

Much like Richard Lewis in that one episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” this person just cannot fathom a group of guys/gals all sticking to an agreed-upon plan multiple days in advance. If the tee time is Saturday, this person is texting you on Tuesday, “are we still on for Saturday?” Then they are doing that again on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Hell, they might actually call you in the year 2025, an utterly terrifying prospect that might cause me to block your number. Of course, in fairness to Richard Lewis, Larry David ultimately lets him down by not showing up to lunch, proving that Lewis did, in fact, need constant confirmation of a plan. But soup and salad is a whole different ball game than a set tee time with four buddies at a golf course that everyone is looking forward to. Listen, constant confirmation guy, if anything should change in our plan between now and the tee time, I promise you will be the first to know.

Getting very specific now, but this person 100 percent exists. You go through the trouble all season of getting foursomes together, securing tee times a week or weeks in advance, making sure everybody shows up, etc. Then one person pokes away. “Who is playing?”, “Are we still on for Saturday?”, “What course?”, “We ALWAYS play there, can’t we play somewhere else?” Like a freaking gnat. You finally snipe back at this clown, hey, pal, chief, why don’t YOU make the tee time? And this selfish prick retorts with “ohhh, poooor you, it must be so hard to make a teeee timeeee.” If it’s so easy, WHY DO YOU NEVER DO IT!?!?!??

I sort of covered this territory in Version 1.0 with “can’t just say yes or no” person, but “is the spot still open?” person is a different beast. This person obviously couldn’t commit originally, but kindly asks if they could be reconsidered at a later date should you still need to fill out the foursome. Honestly, that’s fair. You didn’t say yes and then bail, didn’t show up and bail after 9 holes, and you didn’t say the loathsome phrase “can I let you know later in the week?” No, you may not. But I will circle back like Jen Psaki if every other option falls through. Now, if that turns out to not be the case, I don’t want to hear from you. I don’t want the sad puppy dog eyes. “Is the spot still open?” No, it’s not, and don’t you dare make me feel bad about that or it will be closed to you forever.

Person who has to leave after 9 holes / mid-round

Over the last 12 months, I’ve come across a number of new, equally-unsavory characters as the ones on my OG list that have left me no choice—to compile yet another list of folks who should be removed from your golf rotation, your phone contacts, and possibly your life entirely. Here are the next 6 WORST people to make a tee time with.

It’s been nearly a year since I called out a bunch of my idiot friends introduced you to 8 of the absolute worst people to make a tee time with. As oddly specific as these characters may have seemed, I’m confident that we’ve all dealt with these villainous beings at some point in our tee-time making lives.

Person who says “poooor you” that you have to make the tee time and wrangle the group together

The next 6 worst people to make a tee time with

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