And just like that, NASCAR is on the move … again. AGAIN! Feels like we just got to Amazon Prime, and now the boys are packing their bags and heading to TNT for the next month or so.
The good news? My mamaw can watch the races again! What a relief. I was so tired of taking notes every week just so I could sound smart during our obligatory Monday morning debriefs.
Channel 43, mamaw! “The Richard Petty channel!” Have at it. Zach gets a few weeks off now.
Anyway … what did we all think about Pocono? A lot going on, but also, a typical Pocono race. You go to Pocono, you’re getting a fuel mileage race at the end. That’s just the way it goes at that place.
Chase Briscoe ain’t exactly the most exciting new winner this season, but he’ll do. That’ll probably be the last time we talk about him today, though. Just being honest.
We will talk about Natalie Decker, who broke out her red flag bikini to officially start summer. Feels like a natural way to kick off the season, if you ask me.
We’ll also talk some Prime, Dale Jr., Kyle Larson, Kyle Busch, and Tab Boyd – the spotter who insufferably woke NASCAR fired this week because God forbid you say anything negative about Mexico.
Embarrassing.
Four tires, enough fuel to get us through all three Tricky Triangle corners, and maybe a tampon for the muckity-mucks at HYAK Motorsprts … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘Hasta Luego!’ edition – is LIVE!
Typical NASCAR move here
Hate to start this class on a sour note, but the wokes who run the sport have once again left me no choice.
So, two folks last week got sent to the principal’s office over their not-very-nice comments on the Mexico race weekend.
Carson Hocevar was caught calling the place a “shithole” during a live video game stream (what a stupid way to spend your time), and was promptly fined $50K and sent to Liberal Finishing School (NASCAR-mandated sensitivity training).
And while that was stupid in itself, Ricky Stenhouse Jr.’s spotter – multiple-time Daytona 500 winner Tab Boyd – was FIRED because of this since-deleted tweet:
“I’m ready to go home, screw this place. People can talk it up all they want… can’t even walk out the front door of the hotel without getting hustled and money snatched… in less than five minutes. Good area my ass…”
Good God. NASCAR is so soft. Or maybe we don’t even blame NASCAR here. Maybe this was a HYAK Motorsports decision? Regardless, they’re both so soft. It’s incredible.
This whole sport is just constantly walking on eggshells. They’re all so scared of their own shadows that they don’t dare let anyone say anything remotely controversial without laying down the hammer.
Tab Boyd actually lost his JOB because he implied that Mexico City wasn’t the best area. That’s it. That’s all he said.
There are rumors floating around that spotter Tab got hustled by a dude who told him he could turn his US dollars into Pesos, and then just ran away with his money. True story. Objectively, that’s funny. Sort of on Tab to not trust shady people like that outside your hotel.
But still … that reaction got him fired? Really? Who are NASCAR and HYAK Motorsports scared of offending here? The rabid NASCAR fanbase in Mexico?
The best part is, they’re both deathly terrified of something that no longer exists. Cancel culture is done. Finished. Kaput. Over with. DONEZO.
The second Trump retook office last fall, cancel culture died. But not for NASCAR. Not for its woke teams. It’s still 2020 in their eyes.
Idiots.
At least Ricky’s handling it well!
The Kyles had a fun weekend at Pocono!
Whoaaaaaaaaaaa Nellie! What an ROI for Ricky! Never a bad day when you turn $4 million into $12 million. Certainly helps ease the blow of losing your spotter.
OK, let’s sneak back into the states and head to Pocono, where both Kyle Larson AND Kyle Busch had miserable weekends.
We’ll start with Larson, who actually battled back for a decent finish yesterday, but clearly despises this stupid Next Gen car because it’s cheap garbage:
That would be sarcasm for the folks trying to piece it all together in the back. I don’t think Kyle loves Next Gen racing. I know for a fact that Kyle Busch HATES it, mainly because he’s shit on this new car for two years now.
Coincidentally, he also hasn’t won a race in over two years. Weird!
Speaking of KB, he angered all the Dale Earnhardt Jr. fans in Pocono this weekend with this SCORCHING hot take ahead of Dale’s crew chief debut:
Cut down in their Prime, nearly cut in half, and Natalie’s red flag!
Incredible. I know Rowdy wasn’t taking a shot at Dale Jr. – at least that’s what he later said – but still … such a bold move to kinda-sorta shit on anything that has to do with an Earnhardt.
“Just gonna be a warm body sitting atop the box.” Hey, Kyle, does THAT look like a warm body just twiddling his thumbs and passing the time?
Nope. That looks like a dude down in the trenches with the fellas getting dirty and kicking ass. Dale Jr. is America’s Crew Chief, now. Sorry Larry Mac. This is Junior’s world.
Piss off, Kyle!
Couple quickies on the way out. Let’s all pour one out for Amazon Prime, which turned on race fans across America over the past five weeks with a pretty stellar NASCAR debut:
I’ve written about it plenty, so I’m not gonna rehash all the ratings talk here. The numbers are/were the numbers, and the numbers … were a mixed bag.
NASCAR wants to get younger, and Prime executed perfectly. The audience for the five races? Youngest NASCAR audience in years. YEARS.
The actual viewership itself? It steadily decreased each week. Again, if you want to really dive in, I wrote about it two weeks ago. Read it. You’ll probably like it.
Bottom line: NASCAR on Prime was a success in terms of the broadcast and the median age. The viewership numbers left a lot to be desired, but that was expected in Year 1. Next summer will probably be a better gauge.
Speaking of things getting cut in half, let’s check in with this WARRIOR on pit road yesterday:
My God. Taking a TIRE to the torso is next-level stuff. What a legend. D1 lacrosse player, too! I’m amazed every week that stuff like this doesn’t happen more often. You don’t realize how close these dudes are to the action until you venture onto pit road yourself.
But they still have a job to do and a tire to CHANGE. Get your ass up, dust yourself off, and get SVG back on track in an appropriate amount of time. And that’s what this legend did.
Bet he’s a BIG B2 bomber guy! You don’t take a tire to the chest like that without having some Republican in your blood.
OK, that’s it for today. We’re off to Atlanta next week. TNT’s got the next five races, for those wondering.
Channel 43, mamaw!
Take us there, Natalie.
